| This element is the verbal exchange between the couple that expresses the sincere promises they are making to each other regarding their intention for the marriage. Perhaps a visit to a dictionary definition of the word vow allows for a start: "a solemn promise or assertion ... by which a person is bound to an act, service or condition." On the basis of this definition alone, the decision to write your own vows or adapt traditional vows makes perfect sense. After all, if you're binding yourself for life, shouldn't you have a say in what it is that you're binding yourself to? |
Think about it!
Not so long ago, wives were bound to obey their husbands. For hundreds of years no one gave that "obey" clause a second thought. It's only in recent times that people have begun to blaze their own trails. When it comes to vow exchanges now, there is indeed flexibility. Mixing and matching traditional vows, incorporating lines of poetry, or writing completely original material are all acceptable, at least in the weddings we perform. However, the solemn nature of the vows has not changed. You are still making a pledge before all, so keep this question in mind: "What exactly are you promising your betrothed?"
Vows seem to create the most apprehension for many couples
In well over half of our weddings, a couple will decide to allow us to review and write vows for their review, after receiving their in depth questionnaires, which are used for the process of discovery as to their hopes and dreams and other matters of the heart. Through their openness in answering questions about their relationship and how it evolved for a lifetime partnership, each individual is forced to write down those pertinent aspects of their growth together, and therefore the exploration touches on the uniqueness of their journey and the qualities which convinced each of them to make this public commitment for all to share.
The Questionnaires are not a test; they are a tool for knowing each couple intimately
This exploration in writing has proven to be the answer for personalization of text for all elements of the ceremony. It is also a marvelous stimulus for capturing and highlighting thoughts for personalizing vows, and/or at least providing the minister with insights for originating a couple's vows. The words spoken by the couple as promises or vows may be memorized, read from a card, or recited after the Minister.
Our approach for a Couple who originates and delivers their Vows has proven helpful
Couples must discuss the comfort level of each partner, especially when it comes to writing and delivering the vows in front of a gathering. Some partners simply are very uncomfortable personally speaking in front of an audience at a time of high emotion. However, when the couple has concluded this direction, and wish to withhold sharing of the text with each other until the actual ceremony, then each partner e-mails the minister a copy of the script in advance. The Minister will review each script for balance for timing and tone, and relate back some suggestions which might enhance one or both deliveries. This necessity for feedback has only occurred when a Bride had an abundance to relate, and the Groom's words were much too short. In addition, when a couple submits their vows early enough, the minister has time to tailor his or her address so as not to repeat the couple's thoughts for each other. After all, the vows should be given priority and never over-shadowed or repeated in other elements. Just ideas to consider.
Let your imagination be your guide
Whether customizing your own vows for personal delivery, or making a list for reciting after the Minister, develop vows that are meaningful to both you and your partner, that say something unique about your love, and that exemplify the way you envision your future together. Although your guests will be there to hear you speak your vows, this part of the ceremony is strictly between you and your intended. Listen to your heart ... the words will follow.
Sincerely ... Reverend ElishevaP.S. There are three books which we frequently access for reference for wedding elements. We recommend:
Some of the thoughts in this article on vows came from these sources.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
You would be absolutely correct to assume that the love of two people expressed openly for family and friends in a wedding ceremony truly radiates an energy deeply shared by all. You would also be correct to assume that over the course of the life of those couples who sustain and nourish their love for each other, each new contact to enter their home will be influenced by the kindness which is integral from a loving environment.
There is another unexpected consequence of a ceremony performed by Rev. Elisheva
Since 2010 a significant portion of every ministerial fee received has been directed to support
the independent non-religious, nonprofit, 501(c)3, ALL volunteer public charity known as Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum (IHS). Some couples over the years have made separate donations and others were made aware that a percentage of their wedding fee would be applied to support the least able among us in times of family crisis ... families neither the ministers or the couples will ever meet or know.
So - when a couple reads my blog posting of November 11, 2013 which is 2014 guidance for allowing me to be considered as the wedding minister, it is prominent to know that their love for each other will cause a ripple effect when it reaches out to be shared by strangers in crisis.
"In essence the love of two people through the act of a public commitment is extended one more level when an automatic contribution is triggered for lodging, food, and other needs for an underfunded patient or caregiver to sustain for a long distance trip for critical treatment to the University of Virginia Medical Center in Charlottesville, Virginia. Every wedding allows a couple to fall under our umbrella which states, ' You don't have to know someone to be a Friend'."
Blessings .... Reverend Elisheva
Friday, January 31, 2014
For Immediate Release: PRESS RELEASE
Charlottesville, VA - January 31, 2014 - WeddingWire, the nation's leading online wedding marketplace, named Reverend Elisheva Weddings as a winner of the prestigious WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ 2014 for Reverend Elisheva Clegg, Interfaith Minister & Pastoral Counselor, M.A. in Palmyra, VA!
The WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ 2014 recognizes the top five percent of wedding professionals in the WeddingWire Network who demonstrate excellence in quality, service, responsiveness and professionalism. The esteemed awards are given to the top local wedding vendors in more than 20 service categories, from wedding venues to wedding photographers, based on their professional achievements from the previous year.
While many industry award winners are selected by the host organization, the WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ winners are determined solely based on reviews from real newlyweds and their experiences working with Reverend Elisheva Weddings. Award-winning vendors are distinguished for the quality, quantity, consistency and timeliness of the reviews they have received from their past clients.
"There's no better way to start the year than by honoring the hard work, commitment and success of the top-rated wedding professionals within the WeddingWire Network," said Timothy Chi, CEO, WeddingWire. "It is exciting to celebrate a sixth year recognizing businesses whose clients believe they are committed to quality, professionalism and all around top-notch service. We are honored to recognize Reverend Elisheva Weddings for their impressive achievements within the wedding industry."
As a Couples' Choice Awards™ winner, Reverend Elisheva Weddings is highlighted within the WeddingWire Network, which is comprised of over 200,000 wedding professionals throughout North America and abroad.
Reverend Elisheva Weddings is proud to be one of the top Interfaith Wedding Ministers serving the Virginia, Maryland, DC areas in the WeddingWire Network, which includes leading wedding sites such as WeddingWire, Project Wedding, Brides.com, Martha Stewart Weddings, and Weddingbee. We would like to thank our past clients for taking the time to review our business on WeddingWire. We value all of our clients and truly appreciate the positive feedback that helped us earn the WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ 2014.
For more information about Reverend Elisheva Weddings, please visit our WeddingWire Storefront today at Reverend Elisheva Weddings.
To learn more about the Couple's Choice Awards™, please visit www.weddingwire.com/couples-choice-awards.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
On page 10 from "Poems that Touch the Heart,"
Compiled by A.L. Alexander, first published in April 1941
is this memorable lesson.
Tell Her So
Amid the cares of married strife
In spite of toil and business life
If you value your dear wife -
Tell her so!
When days are dark and deeply blue
She has her troubles, same as you
Show her that your love is true
Tell her so!
Don't act as if she's past her prime
As tho' to please her were a crime
If ever you loved her, now's the time -
Tell her so!
She'll return for each caress
A hundred fold of tenderness,
Hearts like hers were made to bless;
Tell her so!
You are hers and hers alone;
Well you know she's all your own;
Don't wait to carve it on a stone -
Tell her so!
Never let her heart grow cold
Richer beauties will unfold
She is worth her weight in gold
Tell her so!
If we had one more thing to say, do not delay another day.
Happy New Year ... Elisheva and T. Wade