Tuesday, October 16, 2007

When you're down & out ....

Confide in a Friend

When you're tired and worn at the close of the day
And things just don't seem to be going your way,
When even your patience has come to an end,
Try taking time and confide in a friend.

Perhaps he too may have walked the same road
With a much troubled heart and burdensome load,
To find peace and comfort somewhere near the end,
When he stopped long enough to confide in a friend.

For then are most welcome a few words of cheer,
For someone who willingly lends you an ear.
No troubles exist that time cannot mend,
But to get quick relief, just confide in a friend.

- Author Unknown
Personal Note from Reverend Clegg:
To all my couples I have married in the past, you will remember that I offered you my counseling services FREE OF CHARGE. Please don't let a "pebble become a big boulder." Remember I am always your friend and will be there anytime day or night. Blessings, Elisheva

Spouses Have A Hand in Quelling Anxiety

To my couples that I have married and to those couples which intend to get married soon, please read this article by Christopher Lee published on December 27, 2006 from the Washington Post. For those of you I have married, I am sure you will remember that I emphasized the importance of "touching each other, holding hands and looking at each other daily as the wonderous, beautiful gifts you are to each other."

Washington Post, December 27, 2006:
Spouses Have A Hand in Quelling Anxiety
Husbands and wives lean on each other, but it turns out that lending a hand is good, too. Research published in this month's edition of the journal Psychological Science found that women facing a stressful event experienced less anxiety when they held their husband's hands.

In the study, 16 married women underwent a series of trials in which they were shown an image of a red X, indicating a 20 percent chance of a mild electric shock to an ankle, or a blue O, indicating no chance of a shock. Each woman variously held the hand of her husband, a stranger or no hand at all.

Researchers used magnetic resonance imaging(MRI) scans to assess how the women's brains responded. Holding any hand helped relax the women, they found, but holding the spouse's hand had an especially powerful effect."

"Holding any hand at all calms regions of the brain that are responsible for the body's physical stress response," said neuroscientist James A Coan of the University of Virginia, the study's lead author. "But only the spousal hand affected regions of the brain that are responsible for worrying...This is the region which is thought to be associated with your experience of pain."

The findings are in line with other research showing that social ties have beneficial effects on health. Married people are , on average, healthier and happier than unmarried people, researchers have found. And those in the happiest marriages tend to have lower risks of infection and faster recovery from injury than people in less blissful unions. Similarly, although all of the couples in the experiment rated themselves as happily married, women in the most satistying marriages experienced the most potent calming effect of holding their husbands' hands.

"We discovered that spouses may be acting as a kind of analgesic in the high-quaility relationships," Coan said.

- Christopher Lee

From Reverend Clegg:

The best way to go through life's challenges is to share our experiences.

We are all connected. At any time we find ourselves as both student and teacher to each other. So I'd like for you after reading this article, to feel free to add your comments, with your feedback and/or your experiences, which may help some other couple to deal with situations within their lives.

Blessings, Elisehva