tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56928438727600086022024-03-05T16:17:38.546-05:00Reverend Elisheva CleggWedding Minister, Interfaith Minister, Chaplain and Pastoral Counselor, M.A. Serving the mid-Atlantic area, including Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, and Washington D.C areas.Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-47649572240435867982016-06-24T17:26:00.000-04:002016-06-24T17:26:04.755-04:00Our Grief has not subsided, but we remain devoted to our Mission<table bgcolor="#FFFFFF" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="BlockMargin" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="background-color: rgb(255 , 255 , 255); display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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<b>A Very Personal Note from Thomas Wade Clegg III</b></div>
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Your notes, calls, e-mails and gifts in memory of Rev. Elisheva Clegg, who died in the UVA Medical Center on April 6, have been so meaningful to me and our four children, plus Sam McLawhorn and those who have supported our charitable activities over the last eight years. Please know that in due course I will make contact and respond to your comments and wishes. <br />
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<img align="left" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/232b1c96-58df-4ea4-be7d-7cfb69d2c12c.jpg?a=1125043770500" height="429" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.341" vspace="5" width="250" /> Our personal life as ordained Interfaith Ministers, although separate from the IHS public charity, was used as a supportive branch for funds for the charity. Elisheva was so enthused each time we wrote and performed a wedding, but especially for the last six years when we allowed couples to participate with charitable giving as a part of their fee. <br />
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<b>So Much Has Changed and Will Take Time to Adjust</b><br />
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Emotionally, I found myself forgetting simple things and just needing to withdraw for short periods. I know we are behind in writing e-mails and posting blog notes, but that negligence on my part will change. The emails and blog postings may be shorter, but this next month we will provide more details on those who have been helping. <br />
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<b>So Many Have Asked: What happened on April 5-6 that led to Elisheva's death?</b><br />
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I can only tell you that Elisheva did NOT die from cancers in both her lungs. She was working through a well-planned program with the UVA Cancer Center Lung Specialists, beginning at the first of the year. I have every confidence that the Lung Cancer Center was in route to a complete and fruitful result had Elisheva lived for the removal of the cancer from her right lung which was scheduled for April 7. She died the day before her final operation.<br />
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<b>April 5th beginning at about 5:30 PM was a nightmare in slow motion</b><br />
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Elisheva walked to our upstairs bedroom, following a long conversation of planning for the remainder of the summer. She called me to come upstairs. She was having intense pain in her back and chest and needed assistance. The ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and we were in UVA Hospital ER within the hour. She remained in ER for at least 6 hours <br />
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<b>From slow nightmare to panic alarm</b> <br />
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<img align="right" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/4f01d3bb-a88b-4985-be26-02649c6f6031.jpg?a=1125043770500" height="333" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.342" vspace="5" width="250" /> During the transition process from her ER rolling bed to the room bed, Elisheva experienced further distress and a code was sounded. The room filled with a multitude, all working feverously for almost twenty minutes until a heartbeat was noted. Twenty minutes is a long time. <br />
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<b>The next move was down the hall to ICU</b><br />
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More hours passed. The description of exploratory intrusion to find the source of the internal bleeding will not be related. The exploratory was necessary if the bleeding was to be stopped, but the cumulative efforts ended at 0944 hours. <br />
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<b>The death certificate reads</b><br />
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Elisheva C. Clegg died of cardiac arrest, hemorrhage, chest wall trauma. Other significant conditions: PEA arrest from unknown cause, CPR resulting in chest wall trauma. Now you know what happened as concisely as I can offer.<br />
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<b>Some final thoughts</b><br />
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I got through the funeral that Sunday, but I do not remember who was there. Elisheva was there in a lovely wooden coffin which my daughters selected for cremation. I only had one wish and that was to have all four of my very adult children and their children hear from so many friends what generosity she provided with her life. She loved so deeply and offered such kindness. There was never a day when she did not say to me, one of the following several times: "I love you so much." " Do you know how much I love you?" " Let's do 20 more years, OK?" And I said, "Twenty years plus one!" And she would kiss me.<br />
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-62087076904444800042016-04-14T05:27:00.001-04:002016-04-14T05:27:39.274-04:00<table bgcolor="#FFFFFF" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="BlockMargin" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="background-color: rgb(255 , 255 , 255); display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; text-align: left;">Reverend Elisheva C. Clegg passed away unexpectedly in Charlottesville, VA on April 6, 2016 at the age of 72.<br />
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<img align="left" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/71163821-4405-4974-a752-e3dc0456302c.jpg?a=1124342601302" height="347" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.340" vspace="5" width="250" /> Elisheva is survived by her husband of 43 years, Thomas Wade Clegg III; her children, Ari Jolly and her husband John Jolly of Jacksonville, FL; Yalda Clegg and her husband Scott York of Alexandria, VA; Kristine Bechtel and her husband Todd Bechtel of Charlotte, NC; Wade Clegg IV and his wife Jolene Clegg of Los Angeles, CA, and sister in law Judith Clegg of Tupelo, MS. She was also the loving grandmother of Chandler and Jack Jolly, Zachary and Joshua Bechtel and Arthur and Elsa Clegg.<br />
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Elisheva C. Clegg was born on January 22, 1944 in Kaiserslautern, Germany and was a war baby survivor of WWII. She met and married her soulmate Thomas Wade Clegg III on June, 25, 1972 while he was stationed with the US Air Force serving at Ramstein AFB in Germany. The entire family moved to the United States when Wade completed active duty with the US Air Force in 1974.<br />
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Elisheva was compassionate and found her calling in counseling and helping others in times of need. She received a master's degree in pastoral counseling and became an ordained interfaith minister. She also attended the UVA medical center chaplaincy program. <br />
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She was a kind, generous, witty, dedicated individual to all who had the privilege of meeting her. She was extremely passionate about helping those who were unable to help themselves in times of crisis. It was this need that led her, Wade and co-founder Sam McLawhorn to create the nonprofit charity Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum (IHS). IHS is an independent, non-religious, ALL volunteer, nonprofit, 501(c)3 public charity. IHS assists long distance families who are underfunded with lodging and food and other critical needs including items such a providing new infant car seats for UVA's pediatric clinics.<br />
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A celebration of Elisheva's life is scheduled for this <strong>Sunday, April 10th beginning at 2:30 pm</strong> at <a href="https://graceandglorypalmyra.org/" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: rgb(0 , 0 , 255); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">Grace and Glory Lutheran Church</a> located at 683 Thomas Jefferson Pwky VA-53 (Palmyra) VA 22963 (434-589-2217). <br />
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In lieu of flowers, please consider Elisheva's efforts in raising funds for her charity, IHS at <a href="http://www.interfaithhumanitariansanctum.org/donate.php" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: rgb(0 , 0 , 255); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">http://www.interfaithhumanitariansanctum.org/donate.php</a> or mail to:<br />
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IHS</div>
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PO Box 163</div>
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Palmyra, VA 22963<br />
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-41433601087467277412016-02-06T21:11:00.000-05:002016-02-06T21:11:55.952-05:00First Things First - THE PLAN<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="BlockMargin" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top">So many of the readers of my e-mails are couples, or families of couples, whom we have already married. The fog of planning for the wedding of which we were participants as wedding ministers has drifted into the past; but, the memories of bringing together all the vendors and support activities down to one date is remembered as a challenge. So much can be accomplished with such ease when attention to this one-time special occasion is given adequate time to plan. <br />
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<img align="left" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/365a0359-2d65-4c77-854d-3689535f8a76.jpg?a=1123719636662" height="200" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.337" vspace="5" width="250" /> Many considerations must go into planning a wedding, whether hosting a small or large audience. What is the most convenient time (Spring, Summer, Fall?) and location (farm, home, vineyard, chapel, etc.?) to insure that most guests can schedule attendance and make the trip with ease and expectation that a holiday or storm season will not leave them in an airport hundreds of miles away? Budget considerations are prominent in all planning. Inside or outside for the ceremony, the reception, the music, the décor, the sound, the photography and alternatives for moving inside based on inclement weather. <br />
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<b>A very deliberate list for planning has such merit.</b><br />
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<i>AND THAT LIST NEEDS TO BE MADE AND EXPLORED WITH A KEY PLANNER FOR EACH BUSINESS WHO WILL FILL ALL THE SLOTS AS VENDORS.</i> Once you have decided on the desired month, an idea of venue for your budget, then discuss present availability based on those days which are available for booking. Then - make a call list to check with your priority list of support people and their availability for the date. AND <b>PLEASE PLACE THE WEDDING MINISTER</b> ON THAT CALL LIST AS TO AVAILABILITY IN THE EARLY PLANNING. <br />
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<b>Most Weddings which are structured to host family and friends are based on two parts: The actual wedding service or ceremony and the party which follows.</b><br />
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<img align="right" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/8d1117e7-b71a-4f7d-b775-961435ddd2a2.jpg?a=1123719636662" height="250" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.220" vspace="5" width="250" /> We are concerned with the ceremony and providing a service which represents the depth of feelings which a couple wishes to express for the most important gathering of family and friends in their lives. As soon as a couple has a projected idea for a date, or a weekend, and a venue, or at least a town and state ... then go to my website home page at <a href="http://www.reverendelisheva.org/" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">www.reverendelisheva.org</a> and access the "Contact" sheet across the top of the page, or the inquiry note at the bottom of the page.<br />
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Complete that short inquiry and send. This is the most immediate method for learning if dates and times are open, and how long you have to make our participation permanent. Once we have this basic info, exchanges can begin.<br />
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Read the website and <a href="http://virginiaweddings.blogspot.com/" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">blog postings</a> and learn more about all contacts. There needs to be a feeling of comfort with each vendor, but most certainly with a wedding minister. It is he or she who is allowing your audience to know that they are attending the most special day in your journey together. <br />
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If you are a family member or close friend of a bride or groom just beginning to explore for the "big day," pass this item along to them. It may be the information that frees them from unnecessary stress. That alone is often a wonderful gift for a nervous couple in need of guidance.<br />
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Just sharing ... Reverend Elisheva<br />
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-81185496657973022502015-10-21T17:13:00.004-04:002015-10-21T17:26:07.811-04:00When Family Participation is Really Special!<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="BlockMargin" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;">
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<p>On October 10, 2015 the late afternoon weather was perfect at <a href="http://earlymountain.com/" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">Early Mountain Vineyards</a> in Madison, Virginia for the wedding of Emily James and Johannes Harkema. There were a lot of Europeans at this gathering. The Harkema family flew in from the Netherlands.</p>
<p>Family and friends are often asked to participate in a ceremony. Sometimes a talented friend or sibling will be asked to sing. Sometimes a family will have multiple musicians, and form a band for this one-time special occasion. Most certainly, readers will be found to give diversity to the ceremony.</p>
<p>On this day among the participants was Poet David L. James, Professor of English from the <a href="https://www.oaklandcc.edu/campuses/or.aspx" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">Orchard Ridge Campus, Oakland Community College</a> in Farmington Hills, Michigan. Dr. James is Emily's uncle. He wrote and delivered a special poem entitled "Our Hope."</p>
<p>With the permission of Professor James, and for the first time in print for public enjoyment, please find the very personal words written for Emily James on the occasion of her marriage to Johannes Harkema.</p>
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<b>OUR HOPE </b><i>for Emily and J.J., Oct. 10, 2015</i></div>
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<i>it's easy to see</i></div>
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<i>the love in your eyes, in your faces.</i></div>
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<i>we can even feel</i></div>
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<i>the love in your hearts, beating</i></div>
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<i>just under the skin.</i></div>
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<i>but it's the love six, ten, seventeen,</i></div>
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<i>twenty-nine years from this very day-</i></div>
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<i>like a well-worn pair of shoes,</i></div>
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<i>like your favorite ripped ball cap,</i></div>
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<i>like that shirt you will never throw out,</i></div>
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<i>thin and frayed, stained down the front,</i></div>
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<i>it's that kind of love</i></div>
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<i>we hope for.</i></div>
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<i>love that won't let go in any storm,</i></div>
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<i>that sits up with you late at night </i></div>
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<i>when you're sick,</i></div>
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<i>a love that forgives and understands</i></div>
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<i>and steers you back when you lose your bearings</i></div>
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<i>and drift away.</i></div>
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<i>it's a love that plants itself</i></div>
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<i>in your heart</i></div>
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<i>and branches through the blood stream,</i></div>
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<i>like ivy wrapping around the ribs</i></div>
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<i>and hip bone, down the arms and legs </i></div>
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<i>until you can't imagine a world</i></div>
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<i>without each other, </i></div>
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<i>without his hand around your waist, </i></div>
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<i>without her laughter in your ears,</i></div>
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<i>that's the love we want for you,</i></div>
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<i>a love that lifts you</i></div>
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<i>into the sky like it's normal,</i></div>
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<i>like it happens all the time,</i></div>
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<i>and when you look ahead, all you can ever see</i></div>
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<i>is the future smiling in the distance,</i></div>
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<i>waving for you</i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>to follow.</i></span> </div>
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David James </div>
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Sincerely ... Reverend Elisheva <br />
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-88129004417800171132015-08-31T13:06:00.003-04:002015-08-31T13:06:43.831-04:00The Marriage License ... A Couple's Responsibility<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="BlockMargin" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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Even though my e-mail attachments to inquiries fully explain how we work and make many helpful suggestions, sometimes over the course of every year, someone will not read these critical items for accomplishment. One item which is sometimes skipped over, and wrongfully ASSUMED, is that the minister will obtain a marriage license for the couple. As most will recognize, this is not a logical assumption. The marriage license must be purchased by the couple and presented to the minister or officiant at the ceremony. <br />
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<b>The Rules and Fees are different in each state</b> <br />
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<img align="left" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/53953a54-1fab-4013-b670-29559156e324.jpg?a=1122086256508" height="166" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.310" vspace="5" width="250" /> Virginia is our prime area for performing weddings, although we do travel into adjacent states.</div>
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We are still asked to come to parts of West Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C. Most North Carolina requests are simply too far for travel. Also there will be extra costs for the minister's lodging. There are Interfaith Ministers in many major metro areas of that state. However, each state and the District of Columbia have an easily accessed Clerk of the Court with a Marriage Bureau. I mention these areas specifically, for I am registered and approved for performing legal weddings in these states and in DC, as well as many other locations. <br />
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<b>Allow me to speak about Virginia in general, then call a local Clerk for the details</b> <br />
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In every county in Virginia is a Clerk of the Court. In the Clerk's Office is a Marriage Bureau, or similar name. Each office can be accessed by phone or on-line website. Information is fully spelled out on these websites, but if anything is not absolutely clear, pick up that phone and call and take notes. If needed, the couple can visit the Clerk's Office for clarification. <br />
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<img align="right" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/1465009d-ed31-4746-a4fd-a34aa1ca3c6b.jpg?a=1122086256508" height="156" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.308" vspace="5" width="250" /> Most licenses are about $30-$35, but can be higher. The license is good for a period of sixty (60) days, which means that you do not want to make a purchase until you have a solid date for the actual ceremony. You do not want the license to expire before a legal wedding can be performed. If it does, you will have to purchase another license. My suggestion is to purchase the license from 7-14 days before the ceremony. <br />
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In Virginia the license is provided to the minister or officiant by the couple, on or just before the wedding date. The minister will retain the license, complete and sign it (no witnesses are required), and mail it directly to the Clerk within days of the wedding. The couple is given information by the Clerk's Office at the time of purchase regarding cost for original copies (only a few dollars per copy) and where to send a request for copies. The couple needs to keep this information for any future need for copies of the marriage license. <br />
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In Virginia a couple can purchase the marriage license at any Clerk's office and use it immediately at any location within the state. A license is only good in the state where it is obtained. There are waiting periods and other restrictions in other states, but once you have the license in Virginia, you are not restricted for immediate pursuit of being wed. The state of Maryland has some restrictions such as a waiting period of 48 hours from purchase until hosting a ceremony, and the license in Maryland is only good within the county where the license was purchased. This makes Virginia less problematic for late purchases, but a couple's planning should not be allowed to wait until the last week day before a ceremony. Don't be surprised when a government office is closed for a holiday. If you do wait, problems can arise, and a legal wedding may be delayed. Just sharing. <br />
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<b>A Final Note of Importance ... I do not marry couples inside courthouses</b><br />
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<img align="left" border="0" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/67f9b6e3-56e5-4b55-aaa6-dd56cd67a1e6.jpg?a=1122086256508" height="102" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.309" vspace="5" width="250" /> A couple may think that ministers will marry them in a courthouse or the Clerk's Office. I do not perform weddings in courthouses. On the marriage license form is a block which I must mark as a "religious" ceremony, and religious ceremonies are not performed in courthouses. I do perform "non-religious" ceremonies, but that is not the same as a "civil" ceremony performed inside a courthouse setting. Many Clerk's offices do not have arrangements for marrying a couple in their facility, while others may be able to schedule a couple for an Officer of the Court to perform a short civil ceremony. Use your time wisely to get the details needed for planning.<br />
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Sincerely ... Reverend Elisheva <br />
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-38418836010142726632015-06-17T21:37:00.000-04:002015-06-17T21:37:59.649-04:00A Most Pleasant Place for a Most Intimate Wedding<table class="BlockMargin" style="margin-bottom:6px;display: table;" border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7"><tr><td class="MainText" style="color:#000000;font-family:Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;text-align: left;" valign="top" rowspan="1" colspan="1" align="left">
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> <img height="140" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.297" hspace="5" width="250" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/b205de15-e14c-42a5-be68-8ab04980c41c.jpg?a=1121398545731" align="left"> Over the last ten years we have been asked if we perform "elopement" size weddings. What that generally means is just a couple alone or perhaps a few friends or family members (usually six or less) accompanying the couple. So - YES ... we do perform very small weddings at homes or farms, and under large shade trees at one favorite public location mostly on week days away from the crowded venues geared to weekend events. The location is <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" rel="nofollow" track="on" href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pleasant-Grove-Community-Park-Fluvanna-County-Virginia/188966917827796" shape="rect" linktype="1" target="_blank">Pleasant Grove Park</a>, located along Thomas Jefferson Parkway (Highway 53) just 12 miles from Mr. Jefferson's home of Monticello, between Charlottesville and Palmyra, Virginia.</img></span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>A Magnificent change has taken place over the last few years at Pleasant Grove</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> <img height="140" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.298" hspace="5" width="250" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/5e3e7cf0-889b-4fef-b196-f5749b7f1c9e.jpg?a=1121398545731" align="right"> The large 800 acre park now has something for everyone, but one dynamic transformation has been the renovation of the 1854 <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" rel="nofollow" track="on" href="http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~katy/haden/b2963.html" shape="rect" linktype="1" target="_blank">William Douglas Haden</a> House, which had been empty for years. The Haden House is now a Visitor's Center and Museum, and offices are open daily Monday-Friday. The House Museum hours are open for four hours on Saturday and Sunday. There is a restroom building next to the parking lot at the rear of Haden House open during business hours, and many locations under the large shade trees for reserving time for a wedding. There is even the opportunity during normal business hours to use the small reading room upstairs in the House, if inclement weather intrudes for an outside ceremony. </img></span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span><strong>Your best bet for details is to call Malinda Payne Monday-Friday at (434) 589-2016</strong> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
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<div align="center"><img height="140" vspace="0" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.300" hspace="0" width="250" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/9fa0fcd9-9b67-4f14-8e2e-230bc016fd76.jpg?a=1121398545731" /></div>
</td></tr><tr><td class="imgCaptionText" style="padding-bottom:5px;text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; " rowspan="1" colspan="1">Reading Room for Inside Wedding</td></tr></table>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>Again, here is the link for more information about <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" rel="nofollow" track="on" href="http://fluvannacounty.org/services/parks-and-recreation" shape="rect" linktype="1" target="_blank">Fluvanna County's Pleasant Grove Park</a>. When mapquesting the location, the address is 1736 Thomas Jefferson Parkway (Highway 53), Palmyra, VA 22963. What will be a truly pleasant surprise is how reasonable the fees are for reserving space and equipment for weddings and family gatherings. As time allows, check out Fluvanna County's latest and greatest addition for creating memories. THEN - give us a call or send an e-mail and let's plan your wedding in this lovely country setting. </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<div style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span> <img height="140" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.299" hspace="5" width="250" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/73d05b4e-2a47-4f5d-ab17-60af7c6a3a75.jpg?a=1121398545731" align="left"> </img></span><br /></div>
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<div align="center"><img height="140" vspace="0" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.302" hspace="0" width="250" src="http://files.ctctcdn.com/91d690be001/76447020-33e9-49ed-9217-cad925d29094.jpg?a=1121398545731" /></div>
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</td></tr></table>Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-77906181004046360642014-05-27T20:31:00.001-04:002014-05-27T20:31:35.430-04:00Vows ... The Key Moment in Every Wedding Ceremony<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top"><img align="left" alt="Intimate Loving Couple" border="0" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/30.jpg?a=1117464399593" height="374" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.30" vspace="5" width="250" /> This element is the verbal exchange between the couple that expresses the sincere promises they are making to each other regarding their intention for the marriage. Perhaps a visit to a dictionary definition of the word vow allows for a start: <i>"a solemn promise or assertion ... by which a person is bound to an act, service or condition."</i> On the basis of this definition alone, the decision to write your own vows or adapt traditional vows makes perfect sense. After all, if you're binding yourself for life, shouldn't you have a say in what it is that you're binding yourself to? <br />
<br />
<b>Think about it!</b> <br />
<br />
Not so long ago, wives were bound to obey their husbands. For hundreds of years no one gave that "obey" clause a second thought. It's only in recent times that people have begun to blaze their own trails. When it comes to vow exchanges now, there is indeed flexibility. Mixing and matching traditional vows, incorporating lines of poetry, or writing completely original material are all acceptable, at least in the weddings we perform. However, the solemn nature of the vows has not changed. You are still making a pledge before all, so keep this question in mind:<i> "What exactly are you promising your betrothed?"</i><br />
<br />
<b>Vows seem to create the most apprehension for many couples</b> <br />
<br />
In well over half of our weddings, a couple will decide to allow us to review and write vows for their review, after receiving their in depth questionnaires, which are used for the process of discovery as to their hopes and dreams and other matters of the heart. Through their openness in answering questions about their relationship and how it evolved for a lifetime partnership, each individual is forced to write down those pertinent aspects of their growth together, and therefore the exploration touches on the uniqueness of their journey and the qualities which convinced each of them to make this public commitment for all to share. <br />
<br />
<b>The Questionnaires are not a test; they are a tool for knowing each couple intimately</b><br />
<br />
<img align="right" alt="hearts-icon.jpg" border="0" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/192.jpg?a=1117464399593" height="258" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.192" vspace="5" width="250" /> This exploration <i><b>in writing</b></i> has proven to be the answer for personalization of text for all elements of the ceremony. It is also a marvelous stimulus for capturing and highlighting thoughts for personalizing vows, and/or at least providing the minister with insights for originating a couple's vows. The words spoken by the couple as promises or vows may be memorized, read from a card, or recited after the Minister. <br />
<br />
<b>Our approach for a Couple who originates and delivers their Vows has proven helpful</b><br />
<br />
Couples must discuss the comfort level of each partner, especially when it comes to writing and delivering the vows in front of a gathering. Some partners simply are very uncomfortable personally speaking in front of an audience at a time of high emotion. However, when the couple has concluded this direction, and wish to withhold sharing of the text with each other until the actual ceremony, then each partner e-mails the minister a copy of the script in advance. The Minister will review each script for balance for timing and tone, and relate back some suggestions which might enhance one or both deliveries. This necessity for feedback has only occurred when a Bride had an abundance to relate, and the Groom's words were much too short. In addition, when a couple submits their vows early enough, the minister has time to tailor his or her address so as not to repeat the couple's thoughts for each other. After all, the vows should be given priority and never over-shadowed or repeated in other elements. Just ideas to consider. <br />
<br />
<b>Let your imagination be your guide</b><br />
<br />
Whether customizing your own vows for personal delivery, or making a list for reciting after the Minister, develop vows that are meaningful to both you and your partner, that say something unique about your love, and that exemplify the way you envision your future together. Although your guests will be there to hear you speak your vows, this part of the ceremony is strictly between you and your intended. Listen to your heart ... the words will follow. <br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Sincerely ... Reverend Elisheva<br />
<br /></div>
P.S. There are three books which we frequently access for reference for wedding elements. We recommend:<br />
<ul>
<li>"The Everything Wedding Vows Book," 3rd Edition by Don Lipper and Elizabeth Sagehorn</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>"Sacred Ceremony" by Dayna Reid </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>"Alternative Weddings," by Jane Ross-MacDonald</li>
</ul>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
Some of the thoughts in this article on vows came from these sources.</div>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-65249758693937814662014-02-18T17:30:00.000-05:002014-02-18T17:30:17.579-05:00When a Love Affair Impacts Total Strangers in a Most Positive Way<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top"><div align="left" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">
<img align="left" alt="bride-holding-bouquet.jpg" border="0" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/243.jpg?a=1116584996403" height="400" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.243" vspace="5" width="265" /> You would be absolutely correct to assume that the love of two people expressed openly for family and friends in a wedding ceremony truly radiates an energy deeply shared by all. You would also be correct to assume that over the course of the life of those couples who sustain and nourish their love for each other, each new contact to enter their home will be influenced by the kindness which is integral from a loving environment.<br /> <br /><b>There is another unexpected consequence of a ceremony performed by Rev. Elisheva</b></div>
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<br />Since 2010 a significant portion of every ministerial fee received has been directed to support<br />the independent non-religious, nonprofit, 501(c)3, ALL volunteer public charity known as <a href="http://www.interfaithhumanitariansanctum.org/" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum (IHS)</a>. Some couples over the years have made separate donations and others were made aware that a percentage of their wedding fee would be applied to support the least able among us in times of family crisis ... families neither the ministers or the couples will ever meet or know. <br /><br />So - when a couple reads my <a href="http://virginiaweddings.blogspot.com/2013/11/ideas-for-consideration-regarding-our.html" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">blog posting of November 11, 2013</a> which is 2014 guidance for allowing me to be considered as the wedding minister, it is prominent to know that their love for each other will cause a ripple effect when it reaches out to be shared by strangers in crisis.</div>
<blockquote align="left" style="text-align: left;">
"In essence the love of two people through the act of a public commitment is extended one more level when an automatic contribution is triggered for lodging, food, and other needs for an underfunded patient or caregiver to sustain for a long distance trip for critical treatment to the University of Virginia Medical Center in Charlottesville, Virginia. Every wedding allows a couple to fall under our umbrella which states, ' You don't have to know someone to be a Friend'."</blockquote>
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Blessings .... Reverend Elisheva</div>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-91291643103902859772014-01-31T11:49:00.000-05:002014-01-31T11:49:02.064-05:00WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ 2014<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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<b><i>For Immediate Release: PRESS RELEASE</i></b></div>
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<b>Charlottesville, VA - January 31, 2014</b> - WeddingWire, the nation's leading online wedding marketplace, named <b>Reverend Elisheva Weddings</b> as a winner of the prestigious WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ 2014 for <b>Reverend Elisheva Clegg, Interfaith Minister & Pastoral Counselor, M.A.</b> in Palmyra, VA!</div>
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The WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ 2014 recognizes the top five percent of wedding professionals in the WeddingWire Network who demonstrate excellence in quality, service, responsiveness and professionalism. The esteemed awards are given to the top local wedding vendors in more than 20 service categories, from wedding venues to wedding photographers, based on their professional achievements from the previous year.</div>
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</div>
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<img align="left" border="0" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/241.png?a=1116354949897" height="148" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.241" vspace="5" width="200" /> While many industry award winners are selected by the host organization, the WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ winners are determined solely based on reviews from real newlyweds and their experiences working with <b>Reverend Elisheva Weddings</b>. Award-winning vendors are distinguished for the quality, quantity, consistency and timeliness of the reviews they have received from their past clients.</div>
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"There's no better way to start the year than by honoring the hard work, commitment and success of the top-rated wedding professionals within the WeddingWire Network," said Timothy Chi, CEO, WeddingWire. "It is exciting to celebrate a sixth year recognizing businesses whose clients believe they are committed to quality, professionalism and all around top-notch service. We are honored to recognize <b>Reverend Elisheva Weddings</b> for their impressive achievements within the wedding industry."</div>
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As a Couples' Choice Awards™ winner, <b>Reverend Elisheva Weddings</b> is highlighted within the WeddingWire Network, which is comprised of over 200,000 wedding professionals throughout North America and abroad.</div>
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<b>Reverend Elisheva Weddings</b> is proud to be one of the top <b>Interfaith Wedding Ministers</b> serving the Virginia, Maryland, DC areas in the WeddingWire Network, which includes leading wedding sites such as WeddingWire, Project Wedding, Brides.com, Martha Stewart Weddings, and Weddingbee. We would like to thank our past clients for taking the time to review our business on WeddingWire. We value all of our clients and truly appreciate the positive feedback that helped us earn the WeddingWire Couples' Choice Awards™ 2014.</div>
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For more information about <b>Reverend Elisheva Weddings</b>, please visit our WeddingWire Storefront today at <b><a href="http://www.weddingwire.com/biz/reverend-elisheva-clegg-palmyra/a42f4e23d0557e74.html" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">Reverend Elisheva Weddings</a></b>.</div>
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To learn more about the Couple's Choice Awards™, please visit www.weddingwire.com/couples-choice-awards. </div>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-85587353706741099522014-01-18T13:09:00.000-05:002014-01-18T13:09:17.452-05:00A Poem for All Seasons Every Day<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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<img alt="bride-groom-green-header.jpg" border="0" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/238.jpg?a=1116273128417" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.238" vspace="5" width="647" /> </div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">On page 10 from "Poems that Touch the Heart,"</span></div>
<div align="center" style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
Compiled by A.L. Alexander, first published in April 1941 </div>
<div align="center" style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<div>
is this memorable lesson.<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Tell Her So </b> <br />
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Amid the cares of married strife</div>
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In spite of toil and business life</div>
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If you value your dear wife -</div>
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Tell her so!<br />
<br /></div>
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When days are dark and deeply blue</div>
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She has her troubles, same as you</div>
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Show her that your love is true</div>
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Tell her so!<br />
<br /></div>
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Don't act as if she's past her prime</div>
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As tho' to please her were a crime</div>
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If ever you loved her, now's the time -</div>
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Tell her so!<br />
<br /></div>
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She'll return for each caress</div>
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A hundred fold of tenderness,</div>
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Hearts like hers were made to bless;</div>
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Tell her so!<br />
<br /></div>
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You are hers and hers alone;</div>
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Well you know she's all your own;</div>
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Don't wait to carve it on a stone -</div>
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Tell her so!<br />
<br /></div>
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Never let her heart grow cold</div>
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Richer beauties will unfold</div>
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She is worth her weight in gold</div>
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Tell her so!</div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
AUTHOR UNKNOWN<br />
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
If we had one more thing to say, do not delay another day.</div>
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Happy New Year ... Elisheva and T. Wade</div>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-33696684231938573652013-11-11T18:25:00.003-05:002013-11-11T18:25:56.930-05:00Ideas for Consideration Regarding Our Wedding Services in 2014<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top"><b>Exploration is important in order to establish comfort</b><br />
<br />
<img align="left" border="0" height="250" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.220" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/220.jpg?a=1115611957421" vspace="5" width="250" /> It is so important that a couple opens <a href="http://reverendelisheva.org/index.php" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">our website</a> and reads the unsolicited testimonials and blog postings, accessed from the website home page. The <a href="http://virginiaweddings.blogspot.com/" linktype="1" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">blog postings</a> are not all directed just for a couple planning a wedding, but a scan over the last year will offer some very helpful input. This deliberate review will offer a sense of comfort about "us," even before we speak by phone.<br />
<br />
<b>Who is US?</b><br />
<br />
Just for a bit of early clarification, my husband and I work as a team, both writing and delivering a ceremony. A description and background can also be accessed from the website home page. Our general pattern is that I handle most of the ceremony, and Rev. T. Wade Clegg III provides requested readings, poems, blessings, and assists with rituals as needed. We are both ordained Interfaith Ministers. My personal background includes an MA in Pastoral Counseling, and completion of the University of Virginia Health System Intensive Chaplaincy Program in 2006.<br />
<br />
<b>There are NO obligations for exchanges</b><br />
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Many couples worry that having a friendly conversation through phone and e-mail exchanges may obligate them. The first time there is an obligation is after you have complete details in an attachment which is sent by e-mail, after we have talked, and then receive an e-mail from you which requests my participation as your wedding minister. I will then dispatch by e-mail an agreement for return by regular mail along with a deposit. The date is of course secured while the agreement and deposit are in the mail. Remember - you should not request a minister's services until a complete review of fees has been established. You should have an agreement with all vendors and participants hired to perform services for your wedding, and that includes a minister or officiant. <br />
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<b> <img align="right" border="0" height="250" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.222" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/222.jpg?a=1115611957421" vspace="5" width="250" /> Why are we asked to perform weddings?</b><br />
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Our efforts to personalize a ceremony in collaboration with a couple is the main reason. The core theme of all my weddings is the love of two people, and how we proceed to learn of hopes and dreams and other details of this growing relationship is obtained through the use of individual questionnaires. The questionnaire is not a test; it is a tool for knowing you and being able to produce text and tone to reflect for family and friends why this gathering is the most important day in your life's journey. The answers are all known to each partner, and through tailored narrative responses, and perhaps more phone conversations, a ceremony is written and provided for your review. Generally, a ceremony encompasses about 30+ minutes. <br />
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<b>Personalization can be much more than just the text of the ceremony</b><br />
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<img align="left" border="0" height="174" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.221" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/221.jpg?a=1115611957421" vspace="5" width="250" /> Family involvement is so very important if there are close relationships. Involvement can involve family or friends performing a reading or a poem; having two close friends or family members each holding a ring; having parents involved in special rituals to honor their presence, such as lighting candles, or offering a blessing of the union. If there are children from present or previous relationships, and they are age appropriate for participation, then this should be considered. Information which is obtained from Questionnaires allows me to know what to suggest in order to make a ceremony family friendly and a lasting memory for everyone.<br />
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<b>A personal meeting is always possible with adequate planning in advance</b><br />
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About half of couples who are planning a wedding many months in the future make a plan to visit us in Charlottesville, Virginia for a tabletop conversation, usually on a weekend day which is not already obligated for a wedding. Many week days are also available for planning. We understand the need for some couples to have an added sense of comfort, and a personal meeting can be important. Most couples who travel from Maryland, Washington, DC, West Virginia and even hundreds of miles in Virginia enjoy coming to Charlottesville, and even plan for an overnight stay and enjoy the history of the area. However, when a meeting is not convenient for distance, work or obligations, the e-mail and phone exchanges between minister and couple has always proven adequate for purposes of creating an intimate ceremony. <br />
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Remember - planning a wedding is part of marriage. Stay involved together. Discuss and arrive at a comfortable place together. Now - complete that Contact Form accessed on the website home page, and let the conversation begin!<br />
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Blessings ... Reverend Elisheva</td></tr>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-8813031500137991072013-07-14T11:17:00.003-04:002013-07-14T11:17:34.255-04:00Involve the Minister Early in the Wedding Planning Process<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top"><b>A Good Rule of Thumb ...<br /></b> <img align="left" border="0" height="178" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.165" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/165.jpg?a=1114146270520" vspace="5" width="250" /> Once a couple has determined the most desired dates for their wedding, checked with key family members and friends to assess their ability to be present, and talked to their favorite venue as to availability for the dates ... THEN it is time to talk to those ministers (or other celebrants) with whom there is a comfortability. Ask if they are also available for those dates. Quite frankly, with notes in hand and dates established with a venue THAT is the time to press on and make contact with all participants. Too often couples linger too long for completing their list of key personnel. Regretfully the minister is often near the bottom of the list. <b> <br /><br />An Important Reminder<br /></b>I am aware that many couples have limited exposure to ministers who seek to personalize a ceremony, making it intimate to them and their special audience. However, that is what my husband and myself do, and it is indeed different than so many very defined weddings. The intimacy of a relationship and its depth of meaning to a couple will be fully expressed, whether a religiously oriented or a non-religious ceremony.<b> <br /><br />The Ceremony is the HEART of a Wedding Plan<br /></b>I say it often and I mean it sincerely ... this is THE most important ceremony in a couple's life. It is that time when two people face each other, before their most cherished friends, and declare to each other that each will be the support system totally committed for the well-being of the other for a lifetime. The audience in a wedding is coming for that special memory when this relationship reached a new plateau. They did not come for the food, the music, the dancing ... those are the party elements which they can find at home. They come for the serious celebration, and then enjoy the other opportunities to celebrate openly with a couple.<br />
But - never think for a moment that the words that a couple will speak to each other, and have expressed by their minister, are not important. They are vital expressions which last with all who are present for their lifetimes. It is a precious gift when a couple shares this sacred happening.<b> <br /><br />Both Partners Need to Feel comfortable with their Minister<br /></b>Several prior phone conversations or e-mail exchanges, perhaps even a meeting, will allow for a couple to establish a comfort zone. For some that will involve a trip to Charlottesville, Virginia, while distance or work schedules simply prohibit many from a visit. Only about half of the couples we marry are able to meet personally before the wedding date.<b><br /><br />A Meeting Before or After an Agreement has Merit <br /></b> <img align="right" border="0" height="324" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.164" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/164.gif?a=1114146270520" vspace="5" width="250" /> The personal meeting has never been a determining factor in preparation for a ceremony. Yes, a personal meeting does allow for easing the minds of many couples, but our use of questionnaires for each partner has provided a significant route through writing for knowing so very much. Each questionnaire is e-mailed separately to each partner with a request of no discussion with the other partner. I know the answers are indeed coming from each partner without the influence of the other. These questionnaires are NOT a test; they are a tool for learning of hopes and dreams and other matters of the heart. The core theme of all my weddings is the love of two people. When each partner offers candid, open feelings about their relationship and goals for this journey, I will have the ingredients for a true reflection of their love affair.<b> <br /><br />Remember - professional wedding ministers are constantly receiving inquiries<br /></b>When I provide a response to an inquiry, it is always based on a specific date(s) and time of day. The venue may change, but as long as it is within reasonable distance from the initial site, that is not a problem. Date, time and town location are key items for an agreement. I also say that "at this writing I am available for your wedding date." Promises cannot be made until I receive a request for my participation, check again for availability, make sure that the couple has reviewed details from which to make a decision, and then I e-mail the wedding agreement. Initially, I dispatch a detailed attachment to an e-mail with some initial questions, costs, suggestions, etc. In other words, a couple is immediately provided enough details for securing my services. DETAILS are important and in writing to the degree possible. I will then hold the date while awaiting the return of the wedding agreement with a deposit for return by regular mail. There is no obligation until a couple e-mails a specific request for my participation.<b> <br /><br />Some Final Thoughts<br /></b>This posting is not meant to be a list of do's and do not's. It is an opportunity for a couple to consider the importance of the ceremony and the start of something really big! It is a chance to think about the importance of this choice in life, and by writing about it in some small degree may awaken an even deeper appreciation of the words and phrases to be said. Use these ideas as a guide, and once you have selected a minister, please remember to acknowledge the input of other ministers and celebrants. No explanation is necessary as to why a couple is going in another direction. Perhaps it is a sense of needing a representative of a particular faith, or trying to honor some wishes of parents. Whatever reasons for a decision, it is a couple's joint collaboration, and that is what is important in maintaining a marriage. Within a week of receiving all details, and having conversation, and certainly after a personal meeting, it is so very respectful to simply contact a minister and relate your decision. Just sharing.<b><br /></b></td></tr>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-82966386951580056192013-02-28T06:48:00.001-05:002013-02-28T06:48:33.938-05:00Let's Talk Weather!<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top"><b>More specifically ... Let's address the landscape which is Virginia</b><br />
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As wedding ministers who travel throughout Virginia, and into West Virginia, Maryland, Washington DC, and sometimes into North Carolina, the opportunities every month of the year allows us a multitude of experiences. It also allows for making suggestions to couples, which may mean some extra planning. No - I am not talking about changing dates, since booking of a venue most likely has already been secured by deposit for a favored location. I am speaking of making plans to secure the best possible outcome for the ceremony. <br />
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<b> <img align="left" border="0" height="166" hspace="5" src="https://imgssl.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/bride-groom-soft.jpg" vspace="5" width="250" /> Large or small weddings require the same attention to attendees</b><br />
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There is considerable flexibility for small weddings, but no less attention is required for even a few special guests. They all come to enjoy, listen intently and remember your special day. It does not have to be a perfect setting or perfect weather; it does require adaptability for comfort. If indeed there is a need to quickly move inside, has that move been reviewed and planned with adequate staff to take chairs, decorations, and equipment inside? How long will such a change take? Is there a planned cut-off time for making the move, and no procrastination? If a small venue or home wedding, let the groomsmen know that they may be recruited for extra duties as the situation dictates. <br />
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<b>There are better months for planning for outdoor weddings ... so pre-planning is best</b><br />
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When scouting venues, talk to location managers or locals, and listen carefully. As said, we always look at the location on an inquiry form, plus the date, time of day, and size of audience. These factors are all important in early planning, especially for an outdoor ceremony. The very first response to most couples, especially when hosting a large to medium size audience is to make sure that an alternative plan is absolutely in place for moving inside quickly and efficiently. Yes - it's wonderful to be out in a park or on a beach, until a storm arrives and everyone is forced to either run or sit in total discomfort for a twenty minute ceremony. This can be an adventure for many young people, but rest assured that elderly people with health concerns will not be so enchanted by nature's unexpected turn. <br />
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<b> <img align="right" border="0" height="187" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.145" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/145.jpg" vspace="5" width="250" /> Check the forecast beginning days in advance, and discuss deadlines for movement inside</b><br />
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There are months which can be bone-chillingly cold. And there are months when the heat will melt the candles. Both conditions affect the comfort of guests, and that can be very disappointing. Friends and family have generally traveled for a day of comfortable surroundings. Thirty minutes outside with a wind chill of thirty-five degrees and no covering can make for a very long ceremony. The same is true when the temperature is one hundred degrees at 3 PM on the lawn of a golf club. The formal wear begins to be most burdensome.<br />
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<b>Unexpected cool weather is generally the most disruptive... although heat can be dangerous</b><br />
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Cold and wet attire, wind chill, and sitting still and listening for 20-30 minutes is not enjoyable. Do not expect the best voice from a minister or reader, and especially for singers and musicians when the conditions are so challenging. Sunrise weddings on Virginia Beach may work for an elopement for ten minutes, but quite frankly even ministers tend to pass on some challenges. <br />
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<b>When a minister speaks of situations from hundreds of ceremonies ... LISTEN!</b><br />
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<img align="left" border="0" height="250" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.146" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs164/1103454891289/img/146.jpg" vspace="5" width="250" /> As much as a couple can be determined to make it work, the first concern must be the guests and female members of a wedding party with naked shoulders shivering in the wind. May -September are the most popular months, but when it's hot, heat stroke can occur. Standing members can become faint. Most ceremonies can be situated outside at the time of day when shade will fall on the audience, or a tent may be erected to provide some cover. However, the heat may not be diminished very much, and guests should be provided water abundantly. When direct sun is a concern, then guests should be allowed to stay in the shade until the last minute and then told to take their places in an open seating arrangement. They must <b>NEVER</b> be allowed to sit and boil while the wedding party is running late for entry. <br />
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<b>A possibility often neglected</b><br />
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Venues in the cooler months should not be overlooked. Take the group inside a cozy resort or B&B for a wonderful environment. Most venues will be less apt to be filled, and may even offer special price considerations. Most ministers are delighted to receive inquiries during the winter months. Of course there may be a need for caution for those months when snows can arrive, such as January-March in Central Virginia. This can diminish travel by air and auto, but generally not for more than a day. Also, many friends and family may actually be more readily available for attendance and able to leave working obligations in the early part of the year. Just sharing.<br />
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Remember - whenever and wherever the ceremony takes place, it will be the most important ceremony in your lives. However, there is wisdom in close scrutiny and early planning. Also - the couple who plans together will enjoy the process so much more. Planning a wedding is a part of marriage. </td></tr>
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<b>Much love ... Reverend Elisheva</b></div>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-75362950072107819702012-12-22T11:24:00.002-05:002012-12-22T11:26:11.343-05:00Share Something Very Special This Year<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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<img align="left" border="0" height="300" hspace="5" src="https://imgssl.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/holly-berry-wreath.jpg" vspace="5" width="200" /> This message is for widest dissemination, for I have reached into my favorite book to share a poem. The book of which I speak actually has been near our bed stand for years. Some of you will recall that I have shared poems in the past from A.L. Alexander's collection, entitled "Poems That Touch the Heart." It was first printed in 1941, and there were twenty-five reprintings after that. Well - I have been moved to present another lovely poem at this seasonal opportunity.</div>
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<b>Happy Talk can lead to Extended Joy</b></div>
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Elisheva and I were visited two weeks ago by a couple from Washington, D.C. We have been asked to perform their wedding in Luray this summer. During this intimate first time meeting, the couple mentioned that they would immediately depart from the wedding site for the ancient Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan - said to be one of the happiest places on earth. </div>
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The couple was surprised when we related that one of the most enjoyable reads this year was finding Lisa Napoli's book entitled "Radio Shangri-La." In this intimate little book of her travels, she relates that Bhutan measures its success in Gross National Happiness rather than in GNP. So - we knew something about this place of adventure, where happiness is promoted so integrally into the culture. What was originally to be only thirty minutes over coffee with this soon to be married couple turned into a very delightful, and may I say, happy conversation for ninety minutes. People can lose themselves in happiness.</div>
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<b>Being Deliberate in the Pursuit of Happiness</b></div>
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<img align="right" border="0" height="166" hspace="5" src="https://imgssl.constantcontact.com/ui/stock2/christmas_candles.jpg" vspace="5" width="250" /> Happiness is a topic for which we both are drawn, and books which explore happiness seldom escape our review. That can run the gamet from books of poems to in depth explorations by social scientists, such as Jonathan Haidt. We have read his excellent book, "The Happiness Hypothesis (Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom)" several times, and often use it for reference. He is a social psychologist who describes his corner of exploration and teaching as morality and the moral emotions. </div>
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Now you know of at least two books which are worthy of your time. The Alexander collection of poems is generally difficult to find, except outside of a library with an extensive diversity; therefore, it is our duty to introduce for your sharing habits one poem at a time over the years. </div>
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<b>Thinking Happiness, a poem by Robert E. Farley, is our gift for sharing this Holiday Season</b></div>
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<b> Think of the things that make you happy,</b></div>
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<b> Not the things that make you sad;</b></div>
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<b> Think of the fine and true in mankind,</b></div>
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<b> Not its sordid side and bad;</b></div>
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<b> Think of the blessings that surround you, </b></div>
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<b> Not the ones that are denied;</b></div>
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<b> Think of the virtues of your friendships,</b></div>
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<b> Not the weak and faulty side:</b></div>
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<b>Think of the gains you've made in business,</b></div>
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<b> Not the losses you've incurred;</b></div>
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<b>Think of the good of you that's spoken,</b></div>
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<b> Not some cruel, hostile word;</b></div>
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<b>Think of the days of health and pleasure,</b></div>
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<b> Not the days of woe and pain;</b></div>
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<b>Think of the days alive with sunshine,</b></div>
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<b> Not the dismal days of rain;</b></div>
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<b>Think of the hopes that lie before you,</b></div>
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<b> Not the waste that lies behind;</b></div>
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<b>Think of the treasures you have gathered,</b></div>
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<b> Not the ones you've failed to find;</b></div>
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<b>Think of the service you may render,</b></div>
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<b> Not of serving self alone;</b></div>
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<b>Think of the happiness of others,</b></div>
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<b> And in this you'll find your own!</b></div>
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<b><i>From our family to yours ... Much happiness</i><br /><i>T. Wade and Elisheva Clegg</i> </b></div>
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Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-76875397635612784352012-08-24T06:59:00.000-04:002012-08-24T06:59:00.061-04:00I'll Write ... You Read ... then it's meeting time with Bride and Groom<table style="margin-bottom:6px;display: table;" border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7"><tr><td style="color:#000000;font-family:Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;text-align: left;" valign="top" rowspan="1" colspan="1" align="left">
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>Some important thoughts for a Couple to place on their "To Do" List</strong></p>
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<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>And with any luck the time will come when we can sit across a table, sipping coffee and savoring a bit of cheesecake. And we will exchange that most precious commodity: intimate conversation filled with high expectations, new friends discussing plans for their wedding.</span></p>
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<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> <img src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/116.jpg" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.116" width="300" vspace="5" border="0" alt="Reverend T. Wade & Elisheva Clegg Walking Together" align="left" height="450" hspace="5"> Talk of hopes and dreams and the excitement of the journey can turn an hour into two. Many couples simply need to get that sense of comfort with a minister. It's important to hear of concerns, especially to know if their selection of a minister is someone who can bring their ceremony to family and friends in a manner which reflects their wishes. It's important to learn of sensitivities within and between families. It's important to learn of rituals preferred, especially when it is an interfaith wedding. A personal meeting is that opportunity to become comfortable with the person who is performing the most important ceremony in the life of a couple. </img></span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>Captain Kirk reminded us of an important gift</strong></p>
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<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>We were watching a documentary this past evening entitled "Captains." William Shatner, the actor of note from many roles, but especially Star Trek, allowed us to listen to an entertaining couple of hours sharing conversations with all of the Star Trek Captains over the years, and some of the notable cast members so many of us remember. Then at the very end, as the credits were scrolling by, the final thank you came up and stopped. Shatner wrote several comments, and then offered: <em>"These friends allowed me such a marvelous gift ... their time."</em></span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>That is exactly what we hope to enjoy with each couple: their time ... as time is allowed.</span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>So many couples ask, "Can we meet?"</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong> </strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>Of course we can meet, and that should be a part of your planning. However, I live near Charlottesville, Virginia and a meeting generally entails a full day, at least for those who live in Virginia, Maryland and the DC area. Many couples who plan ahead will take a weekend day and drive to Charlottesville, often staying for one night, enjoying the delights of this historic town, and meeting with us for a discussion. If a couple needs directions or ideas for a hotel accessible for visiting <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" track="on" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001Te27QGfgz4dleUt-Ny2hZdV665eImiAT4nej6ATMfrmACfqAUfJSdyGXn0IgmmqWSB5sN7ZFNaHsGGjawbHk_HGdWTJ3-k_6vRb0kmBA4m2DMXOsDzeOBA==" shape="rect" linktype="1" target="_blank">Monticello</a>, <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" track="on" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001Te27QGfgz4chc7JwqPgPbzMm_MaDRBmIdflS6SnCmtoTtTDcdsLiKZXDjw2j8KHkJ1DXYWclTIvTGMRH3BTHBQnARAEbhJAF6oX5y3QsWDd-k0qSbS5ic4JOzdvg6SUX" shape="rect" linktype="1" target="_blank">Carter Mountain</a>, <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" track="on" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001Te27QGfgz4eKg_BDoGBmQ1d0j04M6XJrykXVopSjxehuKAcKsNwrDN_gtFwjU6YUFAgD1P6E9d4MSAfj3WHWLqJQZoVip61IIcuDQ9iA7pAZzBdkrAqXOw==" shape="rect" linktype="1" target="_blank">University of Virginia</a>, etc, please ask. </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>Not all couples can make that trip to Charlottesville </strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> Keep in mind that only about half of all couples actually are close enough for meeting with ease. Many couples have waited too late for planning a meeting. Many live in other states, and will fly into their ceremony location just before the ceremony. As much as we would like to have that face to face talk months in advance, and become familiar before a ceremony, sometimes it is just not possible. Then, a bit more time is spent with e-mail exchanges, and the importance of my questionnaire to learn of hopes and dreams and other matters of the heart become so very prominent in order to write for text and tone. Sometimes in the course of exchanges, a phone call might allow for a more open dialogue to settle a matter quickly.</span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>What happens when family members wish to attend that first meeting?</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> <img src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/114.jpg" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.114" width="250" vspace="5" border="0" alt="The Reverends Clegg - T. Wade & Elisheva" align="right" height="350" hspace="5"> There have been many meetings over the years when a mother of the bride, or both mothers have arrived with the couple. There have been occasions when a couple brought their separate children with them. The list of combinations can be interesting. The question is usually asked: <em>Is it OK for them to come with us? And the answer is: Certainly!</em></img></span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>However, at some point after general introductions, I will ask the couple to join me for a private conversation at a separate table, and Rev. T. Wade will occupy the rest of the family with the most interesting conversation one can imagine. He can speak football fluently. There must be private time with the couple.</span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>I have noticed on occasion when mothers are in attendance, there is a tendency on their part to want to know exactly how I will be handling the ceremony. It is at that point, but usually before it is asked, that I offer something like, "Please understand that I do not write a wedding until I have received completed questionnaires from a couple. I then draft the ceremony for their review and their review only. The wedding is therefore always approved by a couple in advance based on their request. I do insist that no one, except the couple, is to hear the script before it is delivered in a wedding. I do this rather deliberately, since a personal wedding must be that of a couple, and exposing it to friends and family lead to exchanges which may put pressure on a couple to make changes. That must never happen, since the ceremony becomes the wishes of others. And I am here to fulfill the wishes of the couple." </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>Perhaps this might be considered a gentle reminder that <strong>YOUR WEDDING IS YOUR DREAM DAY</strong>.</span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span>Just sharing.</span></p>
</td></tr></table>
Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-6171132656918551222012-07-05T11:46:00.002-04:002012-07-05T11:47:33.789-04:00Sound Professionals are Vital to Most Wedding Ceremonies<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top">This is one of those e-mails to be converted to a blog posting which has little merit after a wedding. However, as all couples with whom we have served as wedding ministers will note, our emphasis on securing a "sound" professional was really excellent advice when a wedding had 25+ guests. This is one of those extended articles to serve future couples in their planning.<br />
<br />
<b>When Wedding Ministers say you need sound ... believe them</b><br />
<br />
<img align="left" border="0" height="220" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.106" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/106.jpg" style="text-align: left;" vspace="5" width="250" />I never understood why wedding planners often neglect telling couples the importance of sound for the ceremony, whereas sound for a reception would never be neglected. The most important part of a wedding is the ceremony. It is the core part of the celebration which has brought family and close friends from great distances to hear the depth of a couple's commitment to each other. It is a rare and wonderful half hour for the couple, and it MUST BE HEARD. Without sound for the minister and readers, inside or outside, any minister or officiant speaking in an intimate voice to the couple will simply not be heard beyond a few rows of seating. Without sound enhancement that can mean the difference in total enjoyment of the couple's personalized 30-minute ceremony, OR at least half of an audience simply sitting in the sun periodically hearing noise from the front. Nothing is more disappointing for grandparents with less than perfect hearing to be totally shut out of a day which is so meaningful to them. <br />
<br />
<b>There are consequences when hiring the less than professional</b><br />
<br />
It is not possible to remember all of the sound people with whom we have worked over the years. There have been many who simply were not prepared to accommodate the ceremony, but were hired as a DJ for the reception. The less acquainted have come with a hand-held microphone and no stand to hold it, not realizing that a minister's hands must be free at all times. Some less acquainted with sound may place speakers in a position where feedback can suddenly scream at the audience. Some less acquainted will not have wireless microphones and not enough cable to do the job for a large wedding. Some less acquainted will not have scouted the wedding ceremony site (or asked about the site) to check if the sound system may need battery power, since the site is far from an electrical connection. Some less acquainted will place the system at the site without monitoring the ceremony, and when something goes wrong, there is no one to immediately correct the matter. Some will be dressed far too casual for a large formal ceremony. <br />
<br />
<b>SO ... why not hire a Professional?</b><br />
<br />
Recently, I wrote to a number of professional sound professionals, many who are not only employed for the ceremony, but also for their other professional skills. Each of the persons listed below are people and firms who know their jobs and have the equipment to make it happen. I will only offer the four (4) with whom I have experienced several times, and with whom I am gratified each time they appear at a wedding site. Please read the short notes provided to me, and then explore their websites for complete details. Then - email or call to secure their services. As professionals, please realize that their bookings are made many months in advance. <br />
<br />
<b>Eric Cunningham of Choice Entertainment ...</b> My radius is normally 75 miles from Richmond. So I will travel to Norfolk, South Hill, Charlottesville and NOVA. Pricing depends on the number of microphones needed. <br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
10035 Sliding Hill Rd Ste 200</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Ashland VA 23005, 804-788-4603</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Eric@ChoiceEntertainment.com <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001no6UgD7nxBzgBQqlmOPGEpGoryqcP6KBByUzk_qlWwnQQ0oZ8r_cihM4mnO7-_8_I34H5h4Us2XJEVL6vRhJ6Ux_KavCGIGkw2wyttXnJtyMG8S5lnAGEoreh7_9kQWb" linktype="1" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">www.ChoiceEntertainment.com</a></div>
<br />
<b><img align="right" border="0" height="257" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.107" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/107.png" style="text-align: right;" vspace="5" width="250" />Ran and Linda Henry of Blue Mountain Weddings</b> ... offer a unique blend of services as husband and wife, helping to create and capture wedding memories. From Charlottesville churches and Blue Ridge Mountain wineries to the ballrooms of Richmond, the District of Columbia and the Maryland shores, the Henrys entertain and photograph joyous, romantic celebrations.<br />
<br />
Ran Henry is a wedding dee jay and emcee performing at over 1700 events since 1984, with stellar sound, unobtrusive speakers, tasteful lighting and the skills to compose a musical menu brides and grooms and wedding guests will savor. Ran Henry is an expert reception planner and emcee, assuring a timely flow of formalities and the enjoyment of every blissful moment. Ran Henry uses Shure microphones to amplify all the voices of a wedding day, and compact discs, not computers, for warm, natural sound.<br />
<br />
<b>Ran and Linda Henry provide premium photographic services as a couple,</b> giving you over a thousand images of your wedding day, depicting you and your family and friends through eyes only a husband and wife can share. Linda Henry is the portrait artist, Ran Henry the photojournalist, focusing on the highlights you can't forget and those candid shots that bring smiles. The photography of Ran and Linda Henry is featured in the Miami Herald, the St. Petersburg Times, the News-Virginian and the Charlottesville Daily Progress. For complete details:<a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001no6UgD7nxBy_CgfSfEHmoKODwbPSJHVeO6LDgt8UOg1Ew5OJjUXXRdoQ-xM-CMKUI-WwV1JTpiErOtqFb4H34ynGGlptE49b_UH4K-cxI-fvri7AyJ3UgrLYUlWrhmzX" linktype="1" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">www.bluemountainweddings.com</a><br />
<br />
<b>Josh Nicol, DJ</b> ... I am willing to travel around the Central Virginia area if I am not booked at Khimaira Farm in Luray. I would be more than willing to travel between Northern Virginia and Winchester down to between Charlottesville and Harrisonburg.<br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Address: 432 Sunnyview Drive, Rileyville VA 22650</div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Phone: 540.860.2653(cell) 540.743.9425(home)<br />
Email: <a href="mailto:josh@djjoshnicol.com" linktype="2" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">josh@djjoshnicol.com</a></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
Website: <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001no6UgD7nxByrIo2zI4GQCln3hxNK5lNbdZDsl5KWwDeFIT8q7smSZAZgXqONJ8LscMdiP7JQ9-66zeIZhtb_9u93sZ14mSJJfD8dHx9gS7WW1weIPhojdw==" linktype="1" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">www.djjoshnicol.com</a></div>
<br />
Here is the link to our website detailing info and our Khimaira Farm (Luray, VA) website: <br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001no6UgD7nxBwAkHhZhrmMW1AUvAgf6FnXNw0Zx9NnKczijek6nJT39oOH3ORZB1mJR3hyuvG5XTDRWJOhXdNzLH17qXMSFekfv5_OFYYWnhd-BY1iH0hPEvJg4L5ekCjHtWSe7ulj8es=" linktype="1" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">http://luraypageweddings.com/services/music/</a></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001no6UgD7nxBywDf_WWIzJe-FlFRmWQ--m-CC_IRkOLdIlzvReq1liFZjK0r3aFEB5sy_ZzyS53DGxUVmGD5MwMq8_epesw33xZA43O4sns9PS0oy_vbIMjsh7aQaqHi7s7qtwzEANtig=" linktype="1" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">http://www.eventsatthefarm.com/AVEquipment.htm</a></div>
<br />
<b>Jason Rethemeyer, the AV Company...</b> "We call Charlottesville home and the majority of our business is done within a 60 mile radius of Charlottesville. We have worked with most of the wineries in the central Virginia region that open themselves up to weddings and events. Our most popular package for weddings is our ceremony sound package that provides the client with a slim line Bose tower speaker, 2 wireless microphone systems (typically one clip on style microphone for the celebrant and one handheld style placed on a microphone stand for any readers or singers) as well as a technician to remain on-site during the ceremony to monitor the microphone levels and ensure everything flows smoothly. <br />
<br />
We can also play client selected music for guest arrival, processional and recessional if that is requested via a laptop, mp3 player or CD. We can also offer our clients a large selection of event furniture and décor elements as well as event lighting, whether it be up lighting, pin spots, bistro/string lights, band lighting or dance floor color wash. Some pictures of past events can be found on our website <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001no6UgD7nxBwZVtzl_k2XJU4pj8IC2lfyUFb53_0RpuheoM_CA00bXjCrpZEbVp0btyRudv4xRUmmX1CehWtSLKYzpedOv1y677U-zRZM6icn9Uf4ge-jUA==" linktype="1" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" track="on">www.theavcompany.net</a>. <br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
the AV company<br />
1825 Avon Street Extended <br />
Charlottesville, Virginia 22902</div>
<div align="center" style="margin-left: 90px; text-align: center;">
tel: 434-977-8288 cell: 434-566-3772 fax: 434-977-1988<br />
<br />
<a href="mailto:jrethemeyer@theavcompany.net" linktype="2" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">jrethemeyer@theavcompany.net</a> </div>
<br />
<i><b>A Final Note</b></i><br />
<br />
When a professional is fully booked, he or she will generally know of other professionals to assist in your area. Ask, so you can continue your exploration. If you know of a professional sound person with whom you had a favorable experience, please share with us, and in future offerings for couples in need of that advice, I will happily pass it along.<br />
<br />
Blessings ... Reverend Elisheva <br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-52261446076602489842012-06-15T10:04:00.000-04:002012-06-15T10:04:54.808-04:00Sharing Throughts ... But Not That Often<table style="margin-bottom:6px;display: table;" border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7"><tr><td style="color:#000000;font-family:Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;text-align: left;" valign="top" rowspan="1" colspan="1" align="left">
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>A Personal note from Revs. T. Wade and Elisheva Clegg</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong> </strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><img style="text-align: left;" height="280" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.105" hspace="5" width="200" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/105.jpg" align="left">We cannot be accused of overwhelming recipients with blog postings on the <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" track="on" shape="rect" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001NtZtpssuUPWjZ5wwGnFtuweFctybc1lZw7-ltwU5Uw4CSkH7RiZ61ZSvyJs0L3W2WTLkpB4O_WJtR7Ytk6RFG80QeVYYtVQATic45RKYZfQr8HvK189FKuNk0-ZhR93o" linktype="1" target="_blank">http://www.virginiaweddings.blogspot.com</a>. The articles are initially sent to readers on our e-mail list, and immediately placed on the blog site. Therefore, the e-mail is more than just an announcement of the blog posting; it's an immediate read of the item and has a "<strong>forward e-mail."</strong> The hope is that these less than intrusive mailings will be well received, versus daily bombardment by political parties, and that you will send on to other friends.</img></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>Speaking of less than intrusive</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">The last three e-mails and blog entries were April 21, 2012 (before this e-mail), January 12, 2012, and September 21, 2011. That's about one e-mail every 2-3 months. The topics are easily reviewed as to diversity by clicking the blog site and scrolling back.</p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">The September article emphasized that "Poetry can Lift a Wedding." An example of a poem which the audience really enjoyed and the bride wanted as a part of the ceremony was "Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog." Take a moment and enjoy.</p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">The December posting remained the only entry for three months. Blenheim Farm and Vineyards in Charlottesville, Virginia area, although a popular wine-tasting stop for years, had just decided to open the farm for weddings last season. It deserved attention as a possible location for review. Although we have never performed a wedding at the site, it is indeed a pretty location. </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">The April posting was strictly of interest for couples planning ahead. Details regarding wedding licenses, along with ideas of fees and other considerations, were the sole focus of that article.</p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>The next e-mail/blog is later this month for a wedding couple's TO DO LIST</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">"<strong>Sound"</strong> is the next topic of conversation. Past experiences with medium to large weddings, which neglected to enhance hearing for the audiences, have proven so disappointing. Not for the minister, the couple and the people seated on the front row, but for everyone else! Sound must not be left as optional for the most important ceremony in the life of a couple. We will offer ideas, and specific professionals scattered around Virginia with whom we have worked.</p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">If you have experienced a Sound Professional/ DJ from an event or a wedding, then please send us an e-mail with their contact information and a comment. We would love to provide that information in our next in depth posting. </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>The question we often ask ourselves: Are we writing a newsletter or a blog?</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">Quite frankly, our postings are probably more newsletter oriented. We may give extended attention to one topic, or list several items of interest. A concerted effort is made to pick a topic and offer in depth information with links for a reader. At the core, a blog and a newsletter is simply a Web page. Each communication format can contain text, images, and formatting styles.</p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">It would be nice if readers would actively ask more questions about topics regarding weddings, so that a tailored answer could be addressed. After all, one objective is to offer pertinent information which can serve couples planning a wedding. But remember, we are Interfaith ministers, and weddings are only part of what we do. Some postings will reach beyond planning a wedding. </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><strong>A Final Note</strong></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">It is true that our focus as Interfaith Ministers is tailored to personalization of weddings, and we travel considerable distances when proper planning is allowed. One or both of us is approved in all states and the District of Columbia. Couples are asked to read our website at <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" track="on" shape="rect" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001NtZtpssuUPX42p3FsVj5WzSymB7DyAhPkV6ivbsDS7zwd_nsJ9GSi1H-hi6vKQJ--ryb_H5Zx-i58kk1O5T-2HzryxpbLBZDYmOem8cB_8hl4oeWGeq1KA==" linktype="1" target="_blank">http://www.reverendelisheva.org</a> and click on testimonials for a true sense of how we are received. In addition, for almost four years our dedication has been aimed at our totally independent, non-religious, all volunteer, 501(c)3 public charity, which is <span style="font-size: 10pt;"><strong>Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum, Inc.</strong></span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><strong> </strong> </span></p>
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;">From all wedding fees a portion is allowed for support of this charity for temporary assistance for the indigent population who comes from all over Virginia to be served by the UVA Medical Center. A couple can provide a direct donation for a tax deduction, or we as ministers will direct our income from fees as needed to sustain this worthy objective. In essence, our ministerial roles are an integral part for sustaining our charitable organization, so when you receive e-mails from both entities, please know that our hearts and minds are ONE. Your wedding, if a couple seeking a wedding minister, will make a difference in the lives of the least able among us as they struggle with the most tragic of circumstances. </p>
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<table style="margin-bottom:6px;display: table;" border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK10"><tr><td style="color:#000000;font-family:Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;text-align: left;" valign="top" rowspan="1" colspan="1" align="left"><span>Blessings ... US ... Revs. Elisheva and T. Wade Clegg </span></td></tr></table>Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-13845620908173978392012-04-21T14:42:00.002-04:002012-04-21T14:43:04.624-04:00That Vital Document for a Legal Wedding<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7" style="display: table; margin-bottom: 6px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-align: left;" valign="top"><b>Some Helpful Tips for Couples as they decide where to obtain a marriage license</b><br />
<br />
This article is one of those <b>NEED TO KNOW</b> renderings. All couples will need to read the website of the state licensing requirements where a wedding will be performed, but most couples appreciate guidance from their wedding minister. This type of information will only appeal to those just starting their search. The likelihood of changes offered in this article will be minimum, but one must be aware that requirements do change periodically.<br />
<br />
<b>Some General Advice</b><br />
<br />
<img align="left" alt="The Marriage License is so important!" border="0" height="234" hspace="5" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.98" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/98.jpg" style="text-align: left;" vspace="5" width="250" />Always call a Clerk of the Court Marriage Bureau (or similar title) in the county and state where you plan to marry and get details, if it's not already on their website. If you are traveling from a considerable distance, even from out of state, double check what documents you need and have them secured for the trip. Know what the fee is and what form is acceptable for payment. For Virginia and other states nearby, the fee is usually about $30.00. In Washington, D.C. the fee is $45.00. In Maryland, depending on which county, the fee runs from $35.00 - $85.00 (cash). If anything changes, most likely the fee will rise as the years go by. You may want to clarify hours of operation and any holidays which coincide with your planned ceremony. Some couples may actually wait until the last few days to obtain a license and not realize that the office is closed for a government holiday. Don't let this happen to you!<br />
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<b>Do you know how long the license is valid from date of purchase?</b><br />
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Since most of our weddings are in Virginia, the license is valid for 60 days. In Maryland the license is valid for six (6) months, a very generous length of time. It may vary in other states, but this is important to know. We recommend that trip to the Clerk of the Court for a purchase from 7-14 days prior to the ceremony. Of course if an out of state resident, then arrival may entail planning the purchase just days before the ceremony. The wedding must take place within that time period of 60 days in Virginia, or one can find it necessary to return to the Clerk for a return of the first license and purchase of another for 60 days. We recommend allowing that extra time beyond the planned wedding date just in case there is a delay of the wedding due to unexpected family situations, or weather, etc. In 2011 a hurricane in Virginia caused considerable delays in travel and closings of locations. Therefore, the license purchased a week or two prior to the ceremony will be valid for extra time to arrange a new plan. <br />
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<b>Know exactly where you must be married with the license you have purchased</b><br />
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This is really important! In Virginia you can purchase a license from any Clerk of the Court in any county, and you can marry anywhere in Virginia. This is not true in Maryland, where you must marry in the county where the license is purchased. Most states allow for purchase at any County Clerk office with freedom to marry anywhere inside that state. Every state requires that the ceremony take place inside the borders of that state, and an address where the ceremony took place is required on the license. In most states, especially in Virginia, a couple takes possession of the license immediately upon purchase. In Maryland a couple takes possession of the license immediately but must wait for two (2) days until a ceremony can take place. In Washington, D.C. the processing and waiting time from application to pickup of the license for a wedding performed by a minister in the city away from the Courthouse is <b>three (3) days</b>. Always clarify with a Clerk any changes in processing time. <br />
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<b>What are the responsibilities of a minister performing a legal marriage?</b><br />
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In Virginia a minister must be registered with a County Clerk in order to marry couples. The VA license provides for the minister to indicate which county of registration, year of registration, and address of the minister. The license only has one signature: the minister. The license (two copies) and a return envelope is provided to the couple and then is presented to the minister prior to the ceremony for review and retention. The minister completes and returns both copies by regular mail to the Clerk of the Court within the week following the wedding. <br />
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<b>What are the requirements for a minister performing legal marriages?</b><br />
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There are different requirements for each state. Virginia requires that a minister presents documents proving credentials and is then registered with a particular County Clerk of the Court. It is acceptable to ask a minister or officiate regarding proper registration for performing a wedding on behalf of a state or in the District of Columbia.<br />
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Reverend Elisheva Clegg and Reverend Thomas Wade Clegg III are registered in most states which require registration. In Virginia our registration is with the Fluvanna County Clerk of the Court. In West Virginia the registration is with the WV Secretary of State, who then allows for marrying couples anywhere in the state when presented with a license from any WV county. Maryland and North Carolina do not require a state registration. In Florida both Reverends Clegg are registered in Bay County with the Clerk of the Court. Only Reverend Elisheva Clegg is registered with the Washington, D.C. Clerk of the Superior Court, and also in New York City for the State of New York. <br />
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<b>Final Comments</b><br />
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Locate and read the State or District website for requirements for a marriage license. If you have questions, <i>CALL AND ASK!</i><br />
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Blessings ... Reverend Elisheva <br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-75890203577570222642012-01-14T16:49:00.001-05:002012-01-14T16:49:44.905-05:00Blenheim Farm & Vineyards - A Spendid Place to have a Wedding!<table style="margin-bottom:6px;display: table;" border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" id="content_LETTER.BLOCK7"><tr><td style="color:#000000;font-family:Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;text-align: left;" valign="top" rowspan="1" colspan="1" align="left"><br /><table class="imgCaptionTable" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;" width="210" align="left"><tr><td class="imgCaptionImg" style="text-align: center;" width="210" rowspan="1" colspan="1"><img height="225" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.80" hspace="5" width="150" alt="Blenheim Vineyards & Mountains" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/80.jpg" /></td></tr><tr><td class="imgCaptionText" style="text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;" rowspan="1" colspan="1">Splendid Opportunity for a Wedding!</td></tr></table><br />This past Monday, January 9th, we were invited to visit a truly marvelous vineyard in Albemarle County along Carter Mountain Road. It was rainy and cold, probably the least likely time of the year for a wedding. However, once on the farm and inside several of the farm's 1800's style buildings, one could immediately sense all the possibilities for small-medium size weddings inside those cozy buildings. And it is easy to visualize the outside lawn area in spring, summer and fall with views over the vineyard. <br /><br />When reviewing all of the marvelous locations for a wedding, couples now have another stunning setting near Charlottesville, Virginia from which to choose. The <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" track="on" shape="rect" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=zi8sqvdab&et=1109078555076&s=442&e=001g2PickSX5iBoSW063o7KIGwM_u5LZL7TRVXDEm0JnCDZq_da8gX0XMIGLGzen5fmDtjise8KkVHvhUcAABxB2_int8w4HVvqE05kyA1qhm-m6k3hcz_n__23K90hpnmd" linktype="1" target="_blank">Blenheim Farm</a> has several buildings for selection to accommodate various audience sizes for a wedding. There is the Main House, the Library and the <br /><table class="imgCaptionTable" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;" width="160" align="right"><tr><td class="imgCaptionImg" style="text-align: center;" width="160" rowspan="1" colspan="1"><img style="text-align: right;" height="225" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.77" hspace="5" width="150" alt="Blenheim Vineyards Chapel" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/77.jpg" /></td></tr><tr><td class="imgCaptionText" style="text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;" rowspan="1" colspan="1">Chapel can host 20 - 25 guests</td></tr></table>Historic Chapel. Outside on the lawn are a number of possible wedding sites near large trees. Of course there is also the opportunity to rent the entire farm for events up to 200 people. <br /><br />The Blenheim Farm and Vineyards is located at 31 Blenheim Road. The first objective driving from Charlottesville is to head out toward Monticello on Highway 53. Keep driving past Monticello to the Thomas Jefferson Vineyards. Just past their entrance on Highway 53 is James Monroe Parkway. Go south 4.8 miles down the James Monroe Parkway after leaving Highway 53. You will pass Ashlawn Highland (home of President James Monroe) on the right. James Monroe Parkway becomes Carter Mountain Road at about 2.6 miles. Turn onto Blenheim Road at the new Trump Vineyard Tasting Room sign. Drive 0.6 miles to the Blenheim entrance on the left side of the road.<br /> <br /><table class="imgCaptionTable" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;" width="110" align="left"><tr><td class="imgCaptionImg" style="text-align: center;" width="110" rowspan="1" colspan="1"><img height="99" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.81" hspace="5" width="150" alt="Blenheim Library Exterior" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/81.jpg" /></td></tr><tr><td class="imgCaptionText" style="text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;" rowspan="1" colspan="1">Historic Library</td></tr></table>Just reading the directions should give a rather good impression of the magnificent area which is wine-growing country unequalled in Virginia. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><table class="imgCaptionTable" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px;" width="160" align="right"><tr><td class="imgCaptionImg" style="text-align: center;" width="160" rowspan="1" colspan="1"><img height="112" vspace="5" border="0" name="ACCOUNT.IMAGE.79" hspace="5" width="150" alt="Blenheim Outdoor Table Setting" src="http://ih.constantcontact.com/fs080/1103454891289/img/79.jpg" /></td></tr><tr><td class="imgCaptionText" style="text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;" rowspan="1" colspan="1">Who says you can't dine outdoors?</td></tr></table>Many of you reading this description and the Blenheim Farm website will be interested to know of the possibilities for business and family gatherings, in addition to weddings. Call or e-mail Kathy Del Rosso, Director of Sales and Marketing, a marvelous tour guide for planning an event. Her e-mail is <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" shape="rect" href="mailto:kathy@blenheimvineyards.com?" linktype="2" target="_blank">kathy@blenheimvineyards.com</a> or call her cell phone at (434) 962-4241.<br /><br /></td></tr></table>Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-378092480282360672011-09-21T15:20:00.002-04:002011-09-21T15:22:52.741-04:00Poetry Can Lift a Wedding to Very Desirable Heights!>A Wedding ceremony should reflect personal desires. I urge couples to participate in an exchange with me individually to arrive at a script which represents their objective of relating their hopes and dreams and other matters of the heart to an audience of friends and family. This short article is offered for two purposes, namely to create a desire to explore poetry in a wedding, and to simply provide a poem which is so fresh and invigorating for listeners.<br /><br />I understand giving consideration to a request by a family member, but I also urge a couple to remember that it is their wedding, and there must be limits to making promises for the most important ceremony in their lives. I also strongly urge a couple not to share text of what the couple wishes and has approved. The text and the tone and the elements written to reflect passions must remain in the hands of the couple. To share text in advance with anyone else is running the risk of changes which will no longer reflect their feelings.<br /><br />Most of you already know that I collaborate with the use of individual questionnaires to arrive at a draft. Then for many couples begins the additional inclusions or removal of text and even certain elements suggested. When I speak of "elements" I am addressi<img style="text-align: right;" src="https://imgssl.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/attractive-young-couple2.jpg" align="right" border="0" height="173" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="289" />ng parts of the wedding program. Fortunately for many couples, the initial draft, based on openly honest questionnaire responses, allows for producing a product which often stands as written.<br /><br />Over the years I have initially received excellent leads from couples who remember a ritual, a poem, a reading, personal vows, ring exchanges, family participation, etc. which they would like to incorporate in structuring their special ceremony. Knowing some of these suggestions in the initial exchanges can be so helpful in early writing. Providing the exact text of a poem (or scripture) for the minister is helpful, since many poems or bible verses are shortened or changed over time. Adaptations are fine, as long as they are true for the couple.<br /><br />Poems and readings in the ceremony can be so meaningful. Actually there were three poems used in Holly and John Cho's wedding on September 17, 2011 at the <a style="text-align: left; font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); text-decoration: underline;" track="on" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=zi8sqvdab&et=1107751449188&s=93&e=001m_7-_RY8-omhKOBS6aaIUGxkpx9UMRmw0G5yoMlJcxr_5NgTj1iS1I4rPvgz_mJbNtnTFvG3nVap5mp0cOkRRG9k_xQNc-M-7WrTA8DfAHmKhCj5wyNNXA==" shape="rect" linktype="link" target="_blank">Khimaira Farm</a> outside Luray, Virginia. The stand-alone poem selected for their wedding was new to me. It offers an example of an opportunity for the lightness which the couple wanted to be introduced into the ceremony, in addition to aspects of the text. The other two poems were carefully integrated into opening remarks by the minister and the promises which the couple openly read to each other, as a part of their standard vows.<br /><br />Of course every wedding is a serious celebration, but this wedding kept the audience smiling and enjoying. Holly asked her friend Rebecca Banks to put her special skills to the task of making the poem come alive for the audience. Rebecca was what is often referred to as the perfect reader by adding a special brightness to the ceremony.<br /><br />I generally recommend that no more than two poems, or a poem and a reading, be the limit for most weddings. Poems and readings should not exceed two minutes in length. I always ask for the text in advance. This allows me to know the exact wording of the poem or reading, and thus eliminates what might be repetitious comments in the minister's remarks.<br /><br />I am offering this poem as an example of bringing something new to a ceremony and to encourage exploration of poems and readings which allow the audience a deeper sense of a couple's personalities. Essentially, I am making a plea for removing the somber in a ceremony.<br />A wedding is a serious celebration, but do allow it to remain celebratory.<br /><br />There are so many lovely poems from which to select, and they are tried and true for transition from one element to another. They should be stand-alone, heartfelt, and able to bring an added flavor. With that said, enjoy <strong>"Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog,"</strong> by Poet Taylor Mali.<br /><br /><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>"First of all, it's a big responsibility, </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>especially in a city like New York. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>So think long and hard before deciding on love. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security: </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>when you're walking down the street late at night </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>and you have a leash on love </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>ain't no one going to mess with you.</em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em><br /></em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>Love doesn't like being left alone for long. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>But come home and love is always happy to see you. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>but you can never be mad at love for long.</em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em><br /></em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>Is love good all the time? </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>No! No! Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.</em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em><br /></em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>It runs you around the block and leaves you panting. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>It pulls you in several different directions at once, </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>or winds around and around you </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>until you're all wound up and can't move.</em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em><br /></em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>But love makes you meet people wherever you go. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>People who have nothing in common but love </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>stop and talk to each other on the street.</em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em><br /></em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>Throw things away and love will bring them back, </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>again, and again, and again. </em></p><p style="margin-left: 90px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><em>But most of all, love needs love, lots of it. </em></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 90px;"><em>And in return, love loves you and never stops."</em></p> <br />Blessings ... Rev. ElishevaReverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-20942730630712201702011-08-11T16:53:00.001-04:002011-08-11T17:54:46.357-04:00A Romantic Checklist to CherishOver the years I have asked and received such insightful personal notes from so many of you who needed to share the "little" things that continue to make your relationship a marvelous journey. Those cumulative little things are such a BIG part of making the journey enjoyable. Sometimes I may take a few of these notes and add some remarks; however, when someone else writes a very good summary for consideration, I will ask to extend its exposure.
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<br />The following article by Dustin M. Wax originally appeared at Stepcase Lifehack, located at <a style="text-align: left; font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 204) ! important; text-decoration: underline ! important;" _mce_style="text-align: left; font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; color: #0000cc; text-decoration: underline;" shape="rect" _mce_shape="rect" href="http://www.lifehack.org/" _mce_href="http://www.lifehack.org">www.lifehack.org</a>. I asked Dustin if we could post it again, and he kindly said yes. It's not just a list; it's a concise checklist which all good pilots should read every time he or she senses the need to fly higher. In this case it's that checklist for securing a continuously smooth and vibrant relationship. Enjoy!
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<br /><p style="text-align: center; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="text-align: center; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; font-size: 12pt;" align="center"><strong>10 Keys to a Successful Romantic Relationship</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;" _mce_style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>In romantic relationships, as with so much else, it's the little things that count. Just as a mis-spoken word or cold look can throw a couple into a weeks-long feud, small and seemingly insignificant gestures can help keep a relationship on track. A little gift, an off-hand compliment, a moment of physical contact can vastly strengthen a relationship. <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;" _mce_style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;" _mce_style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p>According to psychologists Nathaniel Branden and Robert Sternberg, who have both researched and written about the challenges of romantic relationships, these little displays of interest and affection can be more important than all the "active listening" and trust games in the world. Their research has suggested 10 keys to keeping both partners content, satisfied, and happy with each other. <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;" _mce_style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"> </p><ol><li><strong><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;">Tell your partner you love them</span>. </strong> Although it's true that actions speak louder than words, words often speak more <em>clearly</em> than actions. Take a moment every now and then to verbalize your feelings for your partner. A simple "I love you" or "You mean the world to me" can go a long way towards making your significant other feel wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Show some affection.</strong></span> Small acts of physical intimacy - the hand on the small of the back as you brush by in the hallway, your arm around their shoulder on the sofa, your hand on their thigh when seated side-by-side, holding hands while walking down the street - give your partner a warm feeling and convey the love and affection you feel for them. The littlest touch can be as important, or even more important, than the longest night of sexual intimacy.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Show appreciation for your partner.</strong></span> Let your partner know on a regular basis what it is that you like most about them - what you admire, what makes you proud, what their strengths are in your eyes. Building a romantic relationship isn't just about the initial bonding - it's about encouraging and supporting each other's growth over the course of your lives. Help your partner achieve his or her potential by constantly building them up.
<br /> </li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Share yourself.</strong></span> Don't keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it's important to you, share it with your partner. More than that, be sure to share <em>more</em> with your partner than you do with anyone else. While there is certainly a need for some personal space in even the closest relationship, give as much of yourself and your time as you can bear to your partner.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Be there for your partner.</strong></span> Be there for your partner. It's obvious what you need to do when your partner faces a major life challenge like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. But it's just as important to be supportive when your partner faces life's little challenges, too - an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced check. Don't let yourself be a doormat, and definitely don't stand for physical or verbal abuse, but thicken your skin a little and be the voice of calm and reason when chaos strikes. Listen to what's bothering them and offer whatever help - even if it's just sympathy - you can.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Give gifts.</strong></span> Take advantages of opportunities to give material tokens of your love. Just the right book picked up at the bookstore, a special dessert, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store - anything small or large that tells them you were thinking of them. Leave a love note for them, or send them an SMS at work to "I love you" - again, the little reminder that they're always on your mind will help your partner feel better about themselves and secure in your relationship.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Respond gracefully to your partner's demands and shortcomings.</strong></span> A big killer of relationships is unreasonable expectations. Unless you married a robot, your partner comes preloaded with a whole range of human failures and foibles. <em>These are features, not bugs!</em> Learn to recognize and appreciate your partner's quirks for what they are: an essential part of who they are as people. Since our weaknesses are often at the core of our deepest insecurities, make sure you don't pick on or otherwise go out of your way to highlight your partner's flaws.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Make "alone time" a priority.</strong></span> No matter how busy both of your lives are, make sure you commit at least an evening every week or two to be alone together. Have new experiences, share your stories, and just generally enjoy each others company.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Take nothing for granted.</strong></span> Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your partner and the thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life. Remember that, if you're happy in your relationship, your partner is doing a thousand little things for you every day to make your relationship work (as, hopefully you are for them). Never take that for granted - a relationship is work of the highest order, and the second you stop, it starts to slide away.
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<br /></li><li><span style="font-size: 12pt;" _mce_style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Strive for equality.</strong></span> Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your partner as you would have done unto you. Strive for a fair division of household duties and other tasks, and don't expect or demand special considerations you'd be unwilling to offer in return.</li></ol>Blessings .... Reverend Elisheva Clegg
<br />Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-16387564469484030122011-05-30T07:25:00.002-04:002011-05-30T07:30:43.820-04:00Summer ThoughtsSometimes we do hesitate between blog entries, perhaps too long. The last entry of "Stop, Look and Listen" was one of those articles which needs to just linger there and allow for you to read it again, and perhaps again, and gather in the substance. However, it is time to press along with more thoughts.<br /><br />Many blog entries are meant to answer direct questions from the "soon to be married," or "the just got married," or from "parents wondering what is the best route for planning." Those may or may not interest every recipient, whereas the "Stop, Look, and Listen" entry of February 4, 2011 has merit for everyone. In fact it was written to remind ME to self-reflect, and allow you to share.<br /><br />So - forgive us if we don't provide a stimulating read each time to interest every one, but over the course of time, we hope our efforts will be considered as personal notes between friends. Perhaps something said will apply as you advise friends, family, children and grandchildren. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Remember</span> - this cycle of life is continuous, and the older you get, the more that YOU are the keeper of lessons to be shared. We hope in some small way to offer a few pertinent ideas, while sharing the thoughts of very real people who have graced our lives.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Memorial Weekend ...</span><br /><br />It's Saturday afternoon as I write, just prior to driving over to our Community Garden plots in Palmyra along Route 53, which is Jefferson Parkway. It's just a 2-lane highway which is the same road which Mr. Jefferson used to travel from Monticello to Richmond and on to Washington. His travel took days, whereas our frequent trips to Richmond and DC only takes 1-2 hours. I suspect that Mr. Jefferson would have really appreciated a paved road in his days along Route 53.<br /><br />I've been writing to individual friends about coming to visit, and enticing them with thoughts of cherry-picking, peach donuts, cold apple cider, and picnics out in a local orchard. We will do almost anything to attract friends and OUR children to come and visit. It is especially lovely today with so much growth occurring . So - I enclosed the websites of two lovely locations to instigate that desire to leave home for a day or two and join us in our garden or perhaps more appealing gardens in the Charlottesville area. After all, our own garden requires getting "deeply" involved.<br /><br />Living on Highway 53 near Monticello already has its appeal, but meeting in locations where you can pick fruit already in season and lay back in the grass ...well ...that is appealing, so we pull out the stops with vivid descriptions.<br /><br />Open the two websites in this paragraph which Mrs. Chiles sends me every few weeks. You will see why we enjoy sharing our location and opportunities. Check out <a href="http://www.cartermountainorchard.com/">www.CarterMountainOrchard.com</a> and <a href="http://www.springvalleyorchard.com/">www.SpringValleyOrchard.com.</a> Carter Mountain is the highest point and is the nearest to us, and provides marvelous views of our area. A site worth seeing!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Back to my more emotional thoughts for this weekend</span><br /><br />All of this sweet growth around me does not deter my sadness regarding the devastating path which nature has dealt in Tuscaloosa, Joplin, and so many smaller places. My days as a child riding my bike through the Forest Lake area of Tuscaloosa keeps flooding back in my fondest memories, for it is one of those areas so destroyed that the landscape is only left to memories.<br /><br />As I sit in a place of calmness today, the reality is that nature and its whims can bring a stop to life as we know it. It is why I tend to squeeze Elisheva more as life continues, and send out frequent notes to entice family gatherings, even if right there in their own homes.<br /><br />I also remember those who have served and are serving in military and civilian roles, and those who have died or received terrible injuries. Whether by the winds of war or weather, the losses bring such a sense of finality.<br /><br />I awoke this morning with my window open and a cool breeze delaying my ability to move. My sleep was shattered by two small birds carrying on so loudly as they spoke to each other about their day. I started laughing as I listened, aroused by the sounds and feel of nature coming into my day... another wonderful opportunity. Initially, I wanted to shout "Shut up!" but instead my only thought was, "Thank you!"<br /><br />I took several deep breaths and remembered those who were anticipating this same joy I was feeling, but are with us no more. The joy of their being, my appreciation of their being, and my appreciation for my being can be overwhelming at times. I know that you know the feelings of which I speak.<br /><br />Take a moment to review all that is given, and all that we can give, and move into your day, and those to come, with giving more and sharing more. It will lead to healing of others ... and healing of self.<br /><br />Blessings ... Rev. T. Wade Clegg IIIReverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-34936956042947795322011-02-04T12:24:00.003-05:002011-02-04T12:28:50.776-05:00Stop ... Look ... & Listen<span style="font-style: italic;">"A word is dead<br /><br />When it is said,<br /><br />Some say.<br /><br />I say it just<br /><br />Begins to live<br /><br />That day."<br /><br /> </span>- Emily Dickinson, "<span style="font-style: italic;">Life</span>"<br /><br />Now - stop! Read that again, as I did, right there as you look at those words on the computer screen. Read it again. But this time, read it with the pause at the comma, and stop at the period. Give it voice! <strong>It was meant to be heard...these meaningful words</strong>. You see, it even makes one begin to express themselves poetically.<br /><br />I've read this poem before, as you may have. However, most recently it was discovered as the opening to a chapter in a book I keep handy for self-reminders, entitled <em>The Power of Two</em>, by Susan Heitler. Dr. Heitler's book speaks to the secrets of a strong and loving marriage. It is a book dedicated to detailed explanations and strategies. If there was ever a moment in your relationship when anger surfaced, Dr. Heitler's depth of scenarios will touch into the landscape for a possible route for bringing the conflict to resolution.<br /><br />The chapter which uses the Dickinson poem as a lead-in is entitled <em>The Costs of Acting in Anger.</em> What a high price to pay when a partner allows an irritation to spill over into anger, and cause your spouse to suffer emotionally. I remember such times, and they truly frightened me. Perhaps that is why it became so critical to be ever watchful of words which start as slightly cynical, then carelessly leak into a feel of toxicity.<br /><br />You may assume that I am in pursuit of passages for origination of a wedding script when I mention such a book. You would only be partially correct. Most of the time I am simply activating the monitor in myself, seeking someone else's professional perspective in my quest to ever being the right partner to Elisheva. That link to being mindful and alert to your partner, when irritation is at play, must always quickly activate. Master the techniques which allow for maintenance of the love you know exists. Words projected by a brief surge of anger can have a long-lasting impact on your partner's feelings toward you. Curtail the risks proactively. One can build into the learning pattern one of the most important actions in route to a number of strategies, and that action is called <strong>...STOP</strong>!<br /><br />Stop when you feel angry. Stop interacting. Look, as your anger cools. Try to address the problem again. Look to expand your understanding of the situation, and leave your world of tunnel vision. Listen to your spouse's concerns. Expressing your anger constructively will be easier if your spouse also can listen constructively.<br /><br />If you need to deal with the problem immediately rather than first cooling down, as you begin to feel angry, the approach may suggest a longer pause to think ahead. Remind yourself of the steps you will be taking, such as naming the feeling, conveying your concerns, asking to find out the other half of the story, then looking for solutions.<br /><br />No one is saying that these steps are not subject to detours, but if your desire is truly to evaluate and prevent, start with the simple advice generally known to every driver on the road: <strong>Stop, look and listen!</strong><br /><br />The reasons which brought about the anger can be numerous. Just remember that you are almost guaranteeing that your marriage will suffer if you become angry. Heitler indicates in her book that:<br /> <blockquote>"research studies now have shown that married couples who fight are at significantly higher risk for divorce. The test of a marriage's worth may be its positive times, but the best predictor of whether it will endure is the frequency of its bad moments."<br /></blockquote>Heitler also offers this:<br /> <blockquote>"The costs of dealing with problem situations from a position of anger are high indeed. The power of two in anger is the power to cause harm - to yourself, your partner, your children, your marriage. The good news, however, is that you can create positive solutions to even your most longstanding disagreements. Switching from anger to mutually respectful, problem-solving dialogue can give you new levels of respect and affection for each other, not to mention better personal physical health, emotional well-being, self-esteem, and the ability to live life joyfully together."<br /></blockquote>There is a promise which we often use in our weddings. Perhaps it is one of the most prominent, although it always seems to make an audience smile, or release a self-conscious laugh. It is the promise to <em><strong>NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.</strong></em> It falls into this discussion as a constant reminder to bring conflict to resolution quickly and soundly. It may indeed need more than a night for a very sensitive issue, but whichever strategy is needed to return to the loving mode, <em><strong>DO IT NOW</strong></em>.<br /><br />Incidentally, the stanza from the poem, entitled <em>Art of Marriage</em>, reads,<br /> <blockquote style="text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><em>"It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry."</em></strong><br /> </blockquote>NOTICE, this is from the <em><strong>"Art"</strong></em> of marriage. The desire for creating that art, that more perfect union, requires in depth investigation.<br /> <p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><br />I return to the final line in the Art of Marriage:<br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>"It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."</strong></em><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Blessings ... Rev. T. Wade Clegg III<br /></div></div>Reverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-62110211275802104082010-11-02T11:02:00.005-04:002010-11-02T11:13:08.743-04:00Reader's Response to "Twelve Items or Less"In case you missed reading the previous blog entry, just scroll down below for a quick read. I am not the only one who has had such experiences, as noted in this response from Teresa Bevins, Clinical Social Worker at UVA Medical Center Pediatric Clinic.<br /><br />In case there are some new readers of this blog, please know that we are deeply involved with a non-religious, nonprofit public charity which was originated to serve unmet needs for patients and families who come to the UVA Medical Center in Charlottesville, Virginia. Teresa is the coordinator for our on-going food project for caregivers in her clinic and for wider distribution throughout the social worker network in the hospital.<br /><br /><blockquote>“Dear Elisheva,<br /><br />Yes, I have experienced this many times over my 30 years as a social worker. I also experience at the hospital the same thing when non-English speaking families struggle to tell the cafeteria workers what they want to eat, or their embarrassment of not having money to eat. It is times like this, the blessings of <a href="http://www.interfaithhumanitariansanctum.org/index.php">Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum (IHS) <target=_blank></a>enable me to feed these loving parents and to reassure them through the interpreter that it is okay to ask for help. I hear frequently “Gracias,” or “Thank you,” when they realize they will be fed. Please accept my gratitude for all you and IHS do for those with the least.<br /><br />Blessings…Teresa”</blockquote><br />If anyone else has experienced an opportunity for an act of kindness, with how you or another responded, please do relate for sharing.<br /><br />Blessings…Rev. Elisheva CleggReverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692843872760008602.post-42978858095660882642010-10-22T14:31:00.001-04:002010-10-22T14:33:02.686-04:00Twelve Items or Less .....That’s what the sign says on at least one check-out lane at most grocery stores. It’s that aisle where many with only one item wait while encountering those in front of them with a basket nearly half full. It is <span style="font-weight: bold;">the lane</span> which is destined to create frustration.<br /><br />I would like to bring to your attention an event which happened to me in the last twenty-four hours. It happened in the “12 items or less” check-out lane at the local market.<br /><br />Perhaps you are unaware that this particular check-out lane mixes both those who have rushed in for a pack of cigarettes, or a sandwich, or that one item to prepare dinner and was forgotten. It also is the lane many elderly customers use for meeting their daily, or every other day, food needs.<br /><br />So you have a mix of many young people rushing to whatever ... and many elderly who need time to review their purchase and collect coins or write a check for their purchases. It is often a very trying time for the elderly, for they are aware of those waiting, and want to be considerate, but not everything is totally in their control.<br /><br />Have you never noticed an elderly woman lose her coins in the bottom of a large purse, and after a frantic search will give up and switch over to writing a check? Have you never seen an elderly person feel rushed to complete a transaction, and become anxious to the point of wanting to run away to spare others the burden of waiting.<br /><br />I waited behind an elderly woman who was having just such an experience after discovering she did not have the correct change for her purchase, and had to revert to the tedious task of writing a check. While trying to speed up her efforts, she dropped her purse, and was having a difficult time bending down.<br /><br />It was so evident, as I helped retrieve her scattered items from the purse, that she was about to burst into tears, so as I collected her valuables, I began to talk about whatever came to mind and assure her that this happens to everyone. “Who hasn’t dropped coins or keys, etc. while checking out? “<br /><br />It is at that very critical time that intervention is in order, and kind words of reassurance are so prominent. Words such as, “Take your time, the counter is yours; you were here first.” What an easy thing to say, and how often it makes such a difference.<br /><br />I found out later, when encountering this woman at her car in the parking lot, that she did not know how to use the credit and debit cards, and was totally insecure with the technology, so the check was her alternative, and even that was not a quick process. I also learned in quick order that she was alone, had lost her husband of fifty years, and that buying groceries, although a chance to get out, was becoming a challenging experience.<br /><br />Most certainly I have never considered a trip to the market as a matter for feeling insecure, but please remember that this anonymous woman is not alone. There is someone in a market line right now, very much in fear of so much you and I take for granted. <br /><br />There are people in line who cannot read the labels and prices associated with certain goods, and when they arrive at the “12 items or less” line, they are confronted with the embarrassment of not having enough change for a few cans of beef stew and a gallon of milk. They will sheepishly say, “Just take back the milk.”<br /><br />There are mothers with small children trying to buy enough for the week on a food stamp allotment and not having enough to cover some items not included in a food stamp program. They have to leave items on the counter. Most will seek to turn their backs so that no one will recognize that they are having to use assistance. Have you never seen a sweet treat left behind with children quietly pulled away so they do not notice that it has not been purchased?<br /><br />The reasons should be familiar to all of us, IF WE PAY ATTENTION. Each situation allows us to say something so simple as, “Allow me to help with that,” or “Would you be offended if I assisted with those items?”<br /><br />Just keep the voice low, and allow your assistance to be directed, and not draw more attention than is necessary. You will instinctively know when to step up and make a difference. You must learn not to avoid what is so needed, when you are fully aware and next in line. You are the person who can offer an ACT OF KINDNESS.<br /><br />The opportunity for the most profound acts of kindness are just as close as your local food market.<br /><br />Love…Rev. ElishevaReverend Elisheva Clegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03119805808506646171noreply@blogger.com1