Wade and I remember this day as if it was yesterday. We had such fond conversations and emails with Vanessa prior to the day of the wedding. But most informative were her answers to our questionnaire which revealed her love for her children. She would never have married anyone that would not have accepted her children and given them the love they deserved.
Throughout the ceremony I glanced at Stephan once in a while as he was watching his mom. He had this smile on his face that said, “You go mom! You deserve happiness!” During the reception, Wade and I had a little more time to talk to him at length.
He told us that he was going to deploy for Afghanistan very soon. He expressed his delight at the marriage of his mom to Richard knowing that his mom is going to miss him and worry about him so much. He was very glad that Richard would be there to support her while he was gone.
Stephan did not know when he spoke these words that, for the rest of Richard’s life, that would be his job without Stephan’s help. A year later, we were watching the evening news and hearing of the sad event in which eight of our soldiers had been killed earlier that day. No names were given at that time.
On October 21st I received an email from Vanessa in which she informed me that her son, Stephan, was one of those eight soldiers who had died on October 3rd in Afghanistan. Before I received Vanessa’s email , I was going through my listings of previous weddings to rejoice with them on their anniversary. I was preparing an announcement to Vanessa and Richard of congratulations on their first year. And, of course, I was about to ask how Stephan was doing, and when was he coming home.
I didn’t have a chance to send this email. One can only imagine the pain a mother feels and endures from the experience of losing a child. Nobody can truly understand, unless they have experienced it.
Stephan’s home town didn’t hold back in their support for Vanessa and her family. The funeral procession was shown on television as it progressed through the small town to the funeral home. Thousands of people lined the streets and paid homage to this fallen soldier of 21 years of age. He was buried at Arlington Cemetery with full military honors.
I can’t get Stephan’s smiling face out of my mind. I still see him escorting his mother across the grass on a perfect afternoon. I can still hear his voice telling Wade and me, “I will be fine.”
I will not make any political statements as to my feelings about this war. But one thing I know – this should NOT have happened! Such a promising young man – such a great personality and character – caring, loving, compassionate – I know this because I spoke to him during the preparation of my writing the ceremony. His mother’s happiness was SO important to him. He wanted her to have peace and love.
We will always remember Stephan.
Blessings…Elisheva Clegg
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